Gift Giving

so...Christmas is here once again...B101 is playing lots of Blue Christmas by Elvis and anything by Karen Carpenter...and I, again, am working very hard to feel the peace and contentment in my heart that they all seem to feel on television talk shows like Oprah and Ellen...but before I can sit down, drink eggnog, and reflect on all of my blessings I have to shop and wrap for 6 children, 1 husband, 1 precious aunt, 6 different polyanna presents, and many and various special employees that I want to thank for their service at holiday time...

Don't you think that gift giving gets in the way of Christmas…in my honest opinion I kind of think it does…In the "old days" when my babies were babies and my parents were alive I used to find present buying such a stressful, stressful chore...what do they want? will they like it? will it fit? will it be right? what does this have to do with the baby Jesus' birthday? and on and on...
And then, as I got older, I realized that I was...and am...always delighted with the gifts I get from people...no matter what they are...really..I mean if someone in my life wants to show me their love, respect, admiration, affection, or got me in the polyanna choice by buying me a present...isn't that kind of cool? And isn't it even better when I know they took the time to go to a store that they think I will like, wander around the store thinking and looking at things that they think I will like and then choosing something that they think  I will like...To this I say, lucky me!

One of my favorite gift giving stories is the Christmas one of my best friends' husband bought her lots and lots and lots of clothes...all from a "designer" whose clothes we women don't really expect to wear until we are at least 80 and living in Florida for 3 months a year. Well, everything matched with everything else, it all had elastic waists and I guess you could say appliques? embroidery? you know, stuff,... flowers, flamingos, fireworks, ferns... on the double knit tops...I know you know...and in the end she took it all back…and we still laugh about it …God, it was awful...but I always thought that it was just such a loving gift…he knew she wanted clothes for a cruise, he knew she loved blue, and he knew she wouldn't spend alot of money on herself...so he did...he spent hours in one department looking, matching, deciding, thinking about her…
personally, I find that very sexy...

So, now...not so much of a chore...and while I am shopping I hum a little Pa Rumpa Pum Pum along with Bing Crosby …

Then I…hit the egg nog…decorate the fake tree...watch the Miser brothers…visit the Land of Misfit toys…bring out my Mother's creche...track Santa on the computer…wish for the Andy Williams Christmas Special...wait for my kids to come home...and count my blessings.

The________Village

So...I went "in town" with KT to see the Christmas village...no Holiday village...no Christmas village ...whatever it is called,  that all of the fuss had been about. For me, the excitement is the actual going in town at Christmas time!! When I was a kid this was one event that we never missed and I could not wait for... 
On a cold Sunday all bundled up KT and I parked and walked around City Hall and stared in amazement at the Christmas, Holiday, Christmas village...with wooden stand after wooden stand after wooden stand of Christmas...stuff...German dancers?... and lots and lots of scarves and pashminas...all 3 for $25.00... so if you get one from me don't be that impressed...
Anyway KT was freezing...my 62 year old body wasn't that cold, oddly enough...so we went for lunch (of course, although no Crystal Room or Harvey House available) and then a little shopping. We ended up in Wanamaker's, now Macy's,  and found ourselves right smack in the middle of the light show...now the LED show. KT wanted to watch for awhile so I wandered into the shoe department to find a seat but instead found myself standing in the background watching her watching the show and she was smiling from ear to ear...I looked around and so many memories in that very spot with the Eagle in the background came to me...including my brother getting lost, Aunt Mag buying specially mixed foundation for herself...the most sophisticated thing I had EVER seen... and my mother breaking a fabulous high heel. And now in 2010 my beautiful daughter smiling at the sight and also, I am sure, at her very own  special memories... oh yes, it is Christmas time in Philadelphia...

WaWa Door Etiquette

So... I stopped at the WaWa today for a pumpkin spice cappuccino...my new addiction... and I got into a door holding dilemma...one person coming in on my right and one coming in on my left...and my hands are full so I am using my back and my butt...are you picturing it?...so do I turn to my left for the person on my left  thereby blocking the person on my right or do I turn to my right thereby blocking the person on my left...oh yes an absolute dilemma...AND shouldn't they be holding the door for me since my hands are full...and should they hold it for each other...who goes first...who holds the door for who...does gender have anything to do with it?...how about age?...how about wait time...how long should you wait for the next person coming in before you let the door go...oh, THAT is a hard one...how about two people arriving at the same time...so many different scenarios and dilemmas...

The Nature of the Mammogram

So...interesting week...much has gone on for all of us...and I began the week with a mamogram...I get one every 6 months because I have dense breasts...I always say calling them dense makes them feel stupid...bad joke. I go to a seriously wonderful women's center...the only men you ever see there are those that are trying (so very, very hard) to support their wives, daughters, girlfriends or mothers...but mostly it is women...we don't talk to each other and we don't make eye contact...we read old People, Glamour, and Good Housekeeping magazines and pretend not to be nervous...you know, what the hell...my breasts in a vice 4 times...sort of like how it must feel if they were run over by a car...4 times...but only for 5 seconds each...doesn't make me nervous at all.

As I sit in silence I wonder why, other than a quick smile, we are not looking or talking to each other... and I decide that any answer to "what are you here for?" could make us all very uncomfortable and unable to respond...so we keep our eyes down until our names are called...but I have no doubt that if there were a woman visibly upset with no one to support her every woman in that room would be offering as much comfort as she could...but... if there were someone to support her then we would just be watching and feeling a small pit in the bottom of her stomach waiting for our turn...it is the nature of the mamogram...
 
At my center we never come back to the waiting room again until we are completely finished and we hear those words..."All good, you don't have to come back for 6 months (or a year)"...Then we...actually I...walk out with some pep in my step, smile at everyone, thank the receptionist...kiss the parking attendant...and go back to work to continue a pre-Thanksgiving week in an elementary school...and silently tell myself repeatedly that I am thankful  for stupid but clear breasts...I say it out loud to all of my female friends as well...but... if this were a fair world...I could share with even more people in my world  how this test makes me feel...both before, during and after...

Oprah...Again...

So...once again I ( and the rest of us, by the way) did not get a ticket to be on Oprah's Favorite Things That She Is Giving Away or whatever she calls it show...actually I don't even watch it...I watched it once a long, long time ago...maybe her very first one...and on that show she had a Norma Kamali jumpsuit that she said was the most comfortable, gorgeous, easy to wear outfit for at home OR going out she ever owned and we at home MUST simply go out and buy it...for...and I will never forget this...$765.00...really, Oprah...over 700 DOLLARS...and then she said, "buy two in different colors, THAT's how much I love them" oh yes, she said that...

Who does she think is watching that show? Lisa Vanderpump (my new favorite name) and the other Housewives of Beverly Hills...or does she know that her audience is just women getting home from work tired and cranky in their Kohl's outfits and Payless shoes getting an hour to sit down before picking the kids up from CCD, before putting the chicken strips and fries in the oven, before throwing in a load of wash,  before doing the homework...and CERTAINLY before getting into their Norma Kamali jumpsuit to look hot for their husband when he gets home!

So I didn't see it...but my God am I hearing about it...people at work, on TV, on the internet, everyone is talking about it...and I guess I just have to talk about it too...whenever I think about it I can only envision the Saturday Night Live where they satirized it and someone had her baby right there while someone's else's head blew off...FREE STUFF...and really FABULOUS FREE STUFF...but only if you are there...because if you are not there...then...

You get up from the couch and think about how much fun that would have been...


really, Oprah...a FREAKIN' cruise...

Friends Are A Blessing...

Friends are a blessing...no doubt about it...if you have friends then you have it all...someone to talk with, cry with, laugh with, exercise with, watch TV with, shop with, cook with, travel with,...you get the idea.

So... I read an article the other day written by a woman who said she was thinking about those most important friends in her life that have melted away...people that she considered BFFs or Besties at the time but that she no longer contacts or communicates with...she said that they just didn't have that much in common anymore and ran out of things to say...
For example she wrote about those women whose children went to nursery school with her children...they shared play dates, coffee, shopping, even went out to dinner and parties with each other and their husbands when their kids were in school together...but then the kids grew older, went to different elementary schools, and they kind of lost touch...

I too have had many wonderful friends that I have shared this kind of fun with...3 children, 2 husbands, 12 household moves, and 39 years later I have left a trail of very, very special women in my life that I just never hear from anymore...Diane in Boise, Idaho who took me camping in a tent and showed me how to shoot a gun...all she ever did was shake her head and say she never met anyone like me before...and all i did was tell her camping to me was black and white television and shooting was something we did late at night in dark bars with cute boys and shots of vodka.

Betty in Houston who was my daily devoted tennis partner, spoke with a funny accent and was madly in love with my (then) husband...God, I should have let her have him...or Marcia in Indianapolis who dressed in gingham dresses and had recipe cards with her formal engraved name on them...but we carpooled, played racquetball together and she loved to hear me curse!

My friend Mary and I raised our older kids together...grades 1 through 8...we saw each other just about every day through sports and school...sitting in gym after gym after gym cheering for each other's children...Friday nights sitting in her kitchen playing cards, smoking cigarettes, and drinking vodka tonics...talking about every thing under the sun from underwear to cramps...from old parents to new cars...from bratty kids to annoying teachers...from Harry Chapin to rap music...and then one day we moved about 5 miles away and I had a baby and got a divorce and then she was gone... our children grew up and every once in awhile we say hi on Facebook...and it will never be the same...but I will never, ever forget her and the years we spent together... 

My college room mate the beautiful Rosanne who was the maid of honor at my first wedding...we lived together for 3 years and  shared everything together...clothes, classes, heartaches, gossip and falling in love and getting married...we try and try and try to stay in touch and visit each other but the years have taken a toll on our friendship...she lives in California, stayed gorgeous, and enjoys a lifestyle that I can only watch from afar...and visa versa...I miss her and love remembering how we would laugh and cry together about mean girls and dumb boys!   

I am blessed to have many, many women in my life today...so many more that I could mention and probably will some day...female family and friends that I treasure, enjoy and admire...I believe with all of my heart that I am who I am because of all of these remarkable women that have and are still leaving their mark on me...KT has wonderful friends too...neither one of us has a sister...but we both feel like we got to pick our own!!

Happy Birthday KTBethSusan Hauer...

happy birthday to my beautiful girl...I have always told her she is my middle child which means she is at the very center of my heart and without her I lose all sense of balance...

I'M BAAAAACK...

So...where have I been...I don't know, really, just living my life I guess...for whatever reason writing this seemed more than I wanted to do...typing this seemed like a chore... and the hardest part...finding things to write about...seemed impossible. 

It has been almost a year since my last entry and certainly lots of wonderful things have happened...school has closed and opened with much joy and excitement on both ends...Jake has come home for the summer and gone back to college...again, with much joy and excitement on both ends...and the Phillies well...they DIDN'T make the World Series so whatever joy and excitement they created they also killed...dead...with a large thump!

Drew Brees and Son

Is this the sexiest, sweetest, most stupendous photo ever or what?

Writing

"I teach GED English and creative writing. Mostly the women want to write about themselves, and it helps them, you know. Gives them wings, so that they can rise above the confounding mazes of their lives and, from that perspective, begin to see the patterns and dead ends of their pasts, and a way out. That's the funny thing about mazes: what's baffling on the ground begins to make sense when you can begin to rise above it, the better to understand history and fix yourself."

WOW...Wally Lamb wrote that in his latest book...it made me think alot about what I observe, what I live... all those confounding mazes that are my inspiration for these essays that I so enjoy writing. I get my inspiration from my connections to all things...friends, family, students, teachers, acquaintances, men (absolutely their OWN category!) and the beach...

My husband once called my mind "The Perfect Storm" and I think he described me perfectly. Whether I am thinking about why I put so much time into my outfit this morning and probably won't see anyone I need to impress(don't you hate that!) to that moment in an argument when I realize I am wrong...oy, painful...I am always trying to connect the dots of my life...that is..."rise above the confounding maze of my life" but not in such a complex way...just so I don't make stupid mistakes again and again and A gain, as Lionel Ritchie sings.

Mr. Lamb ends"...the better to understand history and fix yourself." I read once that getting to be 60 means you are who you are and as such, must be accepted, celebrated, honored and the kids have to just raise their eyes to heaven and say,"Oh Christ, Mother..."(I put the last part in myself). I like that...I like tht I am no longer a maze looking to be discovered...I know who I am...I am the broad who does not know how to fold a fitted sheet or who wishes there was a sarcasm font on her computer...and I accept that about myself, Mr. Wally Lamb, and rejoice in my desire to eat cookies and take naps and go to the dry cleaners for almost everything! In my mind the perfect bra is a sweatshirt and I don't care who watches me jiggle...well in the house, anyway...


So I began with a great writer's quote about why females write...and I guess if you look hard enough you can see me in there...I am trying to understand who I am and how I make decisions but as far as fixing myself I said as I smiled...I really don't think I am broken!...Thanks for reading...

Love the moment.
Flowers grow
out of dark moments.
Therefore,
each moment
is vital.
It affects the whole.
Life is a succession
of such moments
and to live each,
is to succeed.

—Sister Mary Corita Kent
(1918-1986); artist, educator

Can Spring Be Far Away...

so, i am looking outside thinking it is a grey, cranky day...January can be like that...this is just the day to dream about spring and summer and all the benefits that come with them...FLOWERS! God, I love flowers...I love their shapes, their colors, and their smells...I love when they make me smile and sometimes when they make me cry...

They give my mind a chance to think about those first days of spring when the trees are barely green and the breeze is barely warm...the anticipation of new beginnings...baby chicks and daffodils...and babies crawling in the grass...corny but visual(!)
Then comes summer and suddenly the WORLD is alive with colors and shapes and smells...the flowers are here...free for us to enjoy and make our hearts smile...I love to take photos of the flowers in my garden...I hope you enjoy this cheesy little essay about why I miss Spring, summer and flowers and cannot wait for them to return...and most importantly, I hope you enjoy my flowers!

For women only...

So, I had my hair done this week and I asked my hairdresser if I was ready for that fabulous grey hair that I see on gorgeous models on TV and in magazines that are around my age...He said no. I was interested to learn that I still had lots of darks..."salt and pepper" he said...not enough greys to look anything but old...ouch!

Did he mean that if I let my hair go natural I wouldn't look as sophisticated as George Clooney,Harrison Ford, or my husband? What the hell...women lose again...salt and pepper just does not work for us!

I remember when I got pregnant at 41 years old and thought ALOT about how I was way too old to be having a baby. One day, for whatever reason, I looked at my vijayjay and saw that it was "salt and pepper"...Jesus, how embarrassing...it wasn't bad enough that I would be 42 when I delivered this child...i was going into the delivery room with a grey vijayjay. I cannot tell you how uncomfortable I was with that...and I was determined to dye it...just for the delivery.

So i asked a couple of girlfriends if they would dye my greys and first they said yes but when I explained my predicament they immediately and vehemently denied my request...imagine that...first, they said they thought is was a really bad, unhealthy idea and second, they wanted no parts of that particular part of mine!
So I approached my ob/gyn nurse...told her I would pay her extra...she put the kaboosh on it by saying it was INDEED unhealthy for the baby so I had to stop wishing for it. I immediately requested a Cesarean birth so the entire delivery room would not see my salt and pepper...but of course, she squashed that too!

As it happens I had an emergency section...a story for another day...and did not think about it again until I had my first shower helped by my KT who upon seeing me naked almost fainted...not a good look for a 17 year old girl hoping to have a family some day!

Back to the grey hair on my head...I have gone from that stuff that just colors the grey....to Clariol #45 sunset brown to having my very own card and mix at my hairdresser's...that is where i am. My hair color looks fabulous, I must say, at least the hair on my head...and my husband does not think I should be grey...my Mother always told me to NEVER let my hair turn grey...and it really doesn't matter that much as far as my looks go...even with dyed hair no one ever mistakes me for KT, Michaeljohn or Jake's sister...never happens...so what the hell...

The good news in this little story of mine...no photo of you know what!!

so...do you belong to Facebook? I joined...with an alias, by the way...so i can  hear what my children's friends are doing and see their kids photos,etc. I rarely write on it and never "friend" anyone unless they "friend" me first...it is fun to keep up with all of their lives.

Well, the other day women began to post a color...just a color...and before I could figure out why I got this message...

Some fun is going on! Just write the color of your bra in your status, just the color, nothing else, and send this message on to only girls, no men. It will be neat to see if this will spread the wings of cancer awareness. It will be fun to see how long it takes before the men will wonder why all the girls have a color in their status! Someone sent this to me... figured I'd give it a try! can't hurt! 

So there it is...a little fun to help spread the word for cancer...specifically breast cancer. Is there a female or male out there who doesn't know someone who hasn't been touched by this disgusting, insidious disease? I doubt it. I thought if someone wants to add to the conversation why not...let the facebook world that while we are social networking about our holiday and how the Eagles stink we can throw in a reminder that there is STILL no cure for the most frightening disease known to women. Then I read this...

Women...why are you trivializing this dreaded disease...it is serious...not something to smile about by putting your cute bra color on facebook...some things need to be taken more seriously...boycott this idea and stand up for the seriousness that cancer is!


And there it is...what we can alway expect when women are involved with women...DRAMA...Oy, Oy, Oy can't we all just get along...can't we all just set our minds to the place where this is someone's idea...not MY idea...and it is an interesting one. My real question I guess is WHY do we always have to interject our own agenda into someone else's...it is like saying "What about me...you must hear what I have to say too"...and no, honestly, we really don't...every issue and decision does not have to be agreed upon by everyone...and when it appears that your idea is the minority do us all a favor...keep it to yourself...
No one likes a good debate more than me...but to implore and criticize an entire group of people because they are doing something you don't like is way too dramatic for me...and I believe this is true for groups of 5000, 500, 50 or 5...

If I have learned anything in my 61 years it is drama and criticism stop the conversation...it only encourages eye rolling and silence...The question can be asked, the idea can be floated, but the definitive "you are wrong because I am right" statement in ANY situation is debate ending...and sure to clear the room...in my honest opinion.

By the way...pink.

Comment Worthy?

1. I bought you a snuggie last year...i wish it was leopard too...

2. I love 'as seen on tv' stores and gifts...and the 'ove glove' IS fabulous...

3. Great quote...who wrote the letter?

4. No T.V. while opening gifts....mainly because there is no T.V. in the room where we opened the gifts...

5. Noticed that I have started my own tradition of making a cookie tray for the house....was very proud of it this year and had
a few extra....also noticed i ate most myself....and am pretty proud of that too...

6. New stocking for Pumpkin filled with a big, nasty bone....The kitties stockings were bare...the little shits....

7. Dick Clark....so not going there.......(way to go , Dick...can still see the smile in your eyes...:)

8. Satrurday by 2p.m. Xmas and all hints of the holidays were already tucked on their shelf in the basement or on their way
down...good riddance....until next year, that is....

9 . Have been to all types of NYE parties...my fave is staying home with good friends, food and four-legged buddies and
watching the ball drop in pj's...got to do it this year....no better way to start 2010....

10.My momma is the first one i wish a happy new year's to...by phone...always, since i left the nest...now we text it...

11. Maybe he needs reminding...he IS a man after all.....they don't remember shit...

12.Sometimes contacting them with your memories is enough...you know?

13. TWENTY TEN! hereicome.........

14. So yo yo ma....I wonder what 2010 will bring us?

Musings/Wonderings About Christmas/New Year 2009

 Things I notice and wonder about..

1. How many Leopard Snuglis were given as Christmas gifts this year?
2. I always want to know who goes to the "As Seen On Television" Stores in the Mall...this year I went to one and bought an Ove Glove for our polyanna...I was actually disappointed at the response...I thought it was a FABULOUS gift!
   
3. What is better than getting a Christmas letter where a woman friend calls her relationship with her husband, "loving, faithful and constant..."
4. How many people have the television on while opening Christmas presents? I saw it on a Christmas news show...people opening their gifts with the TV on in the background and that made me wonder...I actually think ours was on the news too...was yours? Why, I wonder...
   
5. Did you have too many cookies, not enough, or the right amount?
6. How many people bought their cats and dogs stockings and presents?
7. Dick Clark...positive or negative?
8. Do you clean up and put away Christmas on New Year's Day?
9. Did you get to go to a fancy New Year's Eve party with hats and blowers and stuff? I love those parties but i don't know anyone else who does so I never get to go to one...instead we went to the movies...which was also kind of fun!
10. I always miss my mother and father on New Year's eve and New Year's day...we never had any traditions but a few memorable times together...they were always happy that night and day...I guess that is why I think of them.
11. My husband and I used to do a year in review and laugh about our memories...we don't really do it anymore...what does that mean do you think?
12. I like to think about all of the people in my life that I never get to see anymore...I like to remember fun times and meaningful moments that I had with them...and I always plan to contact them...why don't I ...I wonder...
13. Will you say two thousand ten or Twenty ten...hmmmm...I wonder what I will say...

Whatever you say...Happy New Year to All...