he emptied the dishwasher...

merry x-mas and happy new year....hope everyone got at least a little of what they needed this holiday season...i am not going to bore you with a long, drawn-out post that would sum up this whole year and explicate why i am looking forward for 2008 to end and for 2009 to begin... you know...something all dramatic like about the past 7 months and ALL the bullshit that has become attached to it...as if it has a life all it's own now...how 2009 will be better because goddamn it just has too...i mean seriously...as long as we all stay cancer free there is a good chance 2009 is going to better than 2008...and i can say this for everyone i think...even if you weren't sideswiped by a traumatic brain inury (TBI) chances are this year you were sideswiped by the crashing economy in some way...it really has been a crazy year...for the world...for all of us...so that means 2009 has to be better...right??? no...not really...when it rains it pours...yo yo ma taught me that...never say it can't get any worse because hell yeah it can...KT"s telling you that...but it can also get better...for all of us...if we just believe...in ourselves, in each other...(in barak obama..:)if we just believe... or even pretend to believe...that sometimes works for me...2008 is gone...good fucking riddance i say...i am sure somehow, in the long run, this year has been a gift...i can only imagine how strong i am now...how fearless i am becoming...but i bid 2008 adieu for now...i will never forget this year...all the love i have found and all the love i have lost...all that was given to me and some that was taken away...but i am READY for 2009...and i look forward to better things...like my man emptying the dishwasher...the best thing i have seen in a long while...way to go tommy d...i think i may have just got a glimpse of my future...and i must say...it's definitely looking better...

airbrush envy...

seriously Opie...you have every avenue money can buy to keep the weight off...screw the chefs, shrinks and trainers...that actually takes work...let's talk about the airbrushers and the full on spanx built into all of your versace dresses...or the camera man who only gets a x-mas bonus if he never shoots the bad side...how about the handlers positioned just so to accentuate your curves instead of your rolls...i know...this is starting to get a little mean...and i apologize...but jesus woman...will you just goddamn embrace yourself...seriously....you are never going to be tiny...unless of course you go back to only drinking your food...or start cohabitating with your chef again...where did rosie go???  i wonder why she never got a cooking show and i think it's because she was in your life BEFORE food network...that is how long you have been struggling to try to be something you are not...and how long we have all been watching...as a role model for women you are amazing...a self made wonder woman...no gossip...no drama...just oprah being oprah...and not making any excuses for who you are...except of course your weight...there has never been a shortage of excuses for that...i think this time around it is your thyroid...hmmm....interesting because if you ask me i'm going to go with genes...now i'm not saying your genetically fucked to be fat...but you defintely have a better chance of being happy in a size 12 than miserable in a size 6...yes...i agree....it is hard to be miserable when you are a size six however the ride back up the size chart is pure torture...and the size 6 prada jeans will forever be around to taunt you while the 12 levis will always stay true and make you feel good...honestly O, i really think you have missed the mark here  and as an ambassador to and for all woman you need to address the truth!!!  you didn't get fat because of the thyroid...it was the potato chips...and you don't need to be a skinny 6 just a healthy 12...and please Opie, demand that all women throw out their scales!!!  because it's not about a number... it's about eating right most of the time and exercising enough of the time... and in reality it's really about how we all FEEL when we take that last quick glance of the mirror as we walk out the door to conquer our worlds...

To My Television Friend Oprah...

Dear Oprah,
So...fat again? Oprah, it is so very okay...please do not beat yourself up about it and please oh please do not make all of us go on ANOTHER quest to get you into a size 10. Let's be honest...we are not surprised...it happens to everyone of us...we are who we are and Mac and Cheese either gets us or doesn't...and THAT is being honest. The sad honesty is that there are a large number of women out here that are happy that you gained it back...oh yeah...big smiles on their faces...after all you have your own chef, your own trainer, your own masseuse, your own everything for Christ sake...and still gained it back...we are working all day, picking up the kids, heating the chicken strips for dinner, doing the homework, giving the baths...let's not even talk about the Christmas bullshit...and trying to lose or maintain that dreaded NUMBER!
Oprah, you have a great opportunity here. You have been a hero to so many women that you have encouraged, supported or helped just by finding your calling, getting yourself on television and communicating yourself to everyone...please do not blow this opportunity to let all of these fabulous women down by getting obsessive about losing your weight...if you want to do it, then do it, but please leave us out of it this time...no more Bob Greene giving you hell or Dr. Phil telling you why or Rosie the chef telling you what to eat...ENOUGH we are out here saying...love yourself, Oprah...whether fat or skinny or in between...you are our OPRAH who believes in the good and banishing the evil...please send us the message that "Girls, I am here to get you through today and plan for a better tomorrow, no matter how I look...because it really must be how I feel about myself"...Remember Carole King: "You've got to wake up every morning with a smile on your face and show the world all the love in your heart" She doesn't say you have to wake up skinny or if you are fat you have no love in your heart...
To quote Billy Joel..."We love you just the way you are"
Merry Christmas Oprah
Love, Suzin
PS...now that you have gained why not wait until AFTER Christmas to try and lose...OMG, eggnog, cookies, scalloped potatoes...what the hell, O, what the hell!

I'll Be Home For Christmas

My KT came home for Christmas...Jake is home from college...all my chickens are in the correct nests...sometimes God is just good...so in order to put my mind in a holiday spirit I have been listening to Christmas songs on my computer all day...and it actually is working...I am considering going to the attic and getting the decorations out...so, while listening to all of this "music" I am thinking...What is your favorite non religious Christmas song?
I have two..."I Saw Mommy Kissing Santa Claus..." because when I first heard it a zillion years ago I thought the kid's mommy was probably going to run away with Santa and there goes that family...my other favorite is, "I'll Be Home For Christmas". When I hear it I think of so many Christmas eves...I think of my Father coming home from work and dragging the Christmas tree in for decorating, my Mom and Dad having parties with the neighbors in our knotty pine paneled basement, my little brother Richard getting Mr. Machine for Christmas when no one else's Santa could find it...
I think of my first married Christmas with my Father coming in with what seemed like a hundred brand new Christmas balls for our very first tree which was almost bigger than our apartment...all of the Christmases we spent living all over the country with my Mom and Dad and sometimes my brothers flying in to have Christmas with the kids, Michaeljohn and KT...
Jake's first Christmas when my 3 children and I figured out that we would survive anything as long as we had each other...those lonely Christmas Eves with my Father and Aunt Mag when Michaeljohn and KT spent the night with friends...
Our first Billy Christmas which we spent with his 11 siblings and their families...57 in all...the 8 years KT lived in Boulder and everything was planned around when she came and when she left...
From the very beginning we decorated the tree on Christmas Eve and whomever was in the house helped...When Jake was born I bought him the book "The Polar Express" and read it to all 3 of my kids and we cried and laughed and talked about our "new" family of 4...these two tradition has turned into MY small family Christmas Eve...we come home from Billy's family party around 1o, decorate the tree and i read the story...only now I am doing it to perhaps 9 or 10 adults who have most definitely been dipping into the eggnog...but I continue to keep a straight face while reading...can you only IMAGINE the mocking, the giggling, the eye rolling...disrespect at its' finest...and the highlight of my Christmas...I wish I was eloquent enough to describe for you the ringing of the bell at the end...the new person always gets the bell and always screws it up...and all of the kids are laughing and snorting and howling...and for me, God is in His heaven and all is right in His world. Who knew that my elementary school teacher reading of one book, including showing pictures at each turn of the page, would always turn out to be the highlight of our holiday...
So KT...all those memories erupted from me because you came home and I heard "I'll Be Home For Christmas...

sparkly red shoes...

i'm getting ready to click my heels three times...

safe travels...

see you on my beloved east coast...

to quote the pointer sister's...

"i'm so excited!!!"

Oh my God...

The context of my KT's poem is astounding to me...someone decided they hate me enough to write an anonymous letter telling significant lies about my personality and the way I do my job...they sent this letter to all of my supervisors...the school board and the superintendent... plus anyone else they felt "needed" to know about what a wretched school principal I am...all so I will not be transferred to their school, a rumor that has absolutely no truth to it...the behavior they described was also "reported" to them by the way, not witnessed. So, in other words these cowards are trying to keep me from another job...anonymous people trying to "bully" my employers into not giving me a job because THEY HEARD I was not what they wanted. Are they even who they say they are...or is it some little worm worried that he/she might have to do his job now because someone told him/her that I actually hold people accountable?? hmmm...
So...here I am experiencing the seven stages of 'This is Bullshit". I saw the letter and at first I couldn't believe it...then I denied it...then I felt responsible for it...then I cried and cried over it...then I was so very sad about it...then I got so freaking angry about it...and now...
Now, thanks to my KT, my Billy, my family, my colleagues and my friends I realize that anonymous letters are cowardly letters sent by people that are afraid of something and most likely a million somethings and choose instead to be faceless bullys harming honest hard working people like myself...they are people that do not know how to present themselves and their agendas to others, much the way I do every day in my job. They are absolutely not worth my time, my energy and certainly not worth losing my self respect or self confidence to...I do NOT have to justify myself nor defend myself to anyone...EVER...
Don't they WISH they had a daughter like KT to know and understand and love them the way she takes care of me...don't they just wish...they cannot have her...
So, if by chance you are one of my haters and bullys and you are reading this...you can bite me...thanks for listening.

shout out to nene...

sorry that this is another poem... but i guess i  just have an easier time writing incomplete sentences...go figure...(now i'm writing to the "masses" like i gave my mom shit for doing...christ..:)

we all know who they are...

so visible from afar...

their uglyness from within...

stains their thin skin...

they want what we've got...

worked hard for and fought...

not always natural  for us...

perhaps one day an oscar for best actress???

we deserve all we have...

and could even probably do with just halve...

but haters who hate us because they hate themselves...

always make us doubt and berate ourselves...

which means they are winning...

even while unwisely grinning...

they are false and they are fools...

who are inept to understand the rules...

life is a game best played together...

helping each other find the answer...

we are all on the same team...

the human race it may seem...

life is for lovers...

like mother and daughters...

helping each other see their true colors...

and our own inner warriors...

should have paid cash for it...

walking under the angel through my front door...

hearing my sammy's angry roar...

dumping a whole bag of treats guiltily on the floor...

these are some things i am looking forward to...

sleeping in my own bed...

the hum of the house dancing in my head...

no longer living in someone else'e homestead...

these are some of the thing's i am looking forward to...

checking out mj's new car, so proud is he...

sitting with rita under the tree...

talking about how different our futures will be...

these are some of the things i am looking forward to...

hugging my mom, smelling her skin...

always she will be my home from within...

singing songs with jake and waiting for x-mas to begin...

these are some of the things i am looking forward to...

sitting on the steps of the sloarium...

back in tom and kt's emporium...

ready and willing to carpe diem...

these are some things i am looking forward to...

heading to boulder was the perfect respite...

low blood pressure has stepped down from the pulpit...

hgtv is only on late night...

and at the gym he puts up a fight...

we still have a long way to go...

this i now know...

but we are getting stronger everyday...

and together we have found a loving way...

but home sweet home...

where my crazy ass bunion toes roam...

out in the garden where my soul often grows...

these are some of the things i am looking forward too...

335 n. spring mill road...villanova, pa...

(4.2 from my mom by the way...)

a place where a piece of my heart will always stay...

It is time for me to end this magnificent adventure on the beach and head home...to my house, my children, my husband, my friends, my job, and my life...and remember how blessed I am....soon my daughter KT will return from her Boulder adventure...I wonder what she is looking forward to?

So we move from food to Thanksgiving, my favorite holiday. It is my favorite for lots of reasons: no presents, no wrapping, no decorating, no polyannas, no tree, but YES to eggnog...a no brainer in my mind. Plus, it was always my mother's favorite holiday. No matter what went on in our world she was always happy on Thanksgiving, even if she was doing the cooking for 20. The one thing I always wondered though, is why didn't our turkey come out like the one in the Rockwell painting shown...Ours was always sliced and on a tray by the time we sat down...actually everything was on plates and bowels and baskets...passed and consumed within about 15 minutes, DONE! I always wondered if the people at Norman Rockwell's house were finished in 15 minutes like we were. Or did they sit around and tell what they were thankful for and...my favorite fantasy...compliment everyone on something good they did that year? I read it in a Bobbsey Twins book once and always wanted to emulate it at our house but mostly I just got smiles and pats on the head when I asked...so ,of course, I stopped asking...but I digress...
It seems that Thanksgiving is the great American holiday, only celebrated here to remind us of the Pilgrims and Indians and that fabulous story that, as an elementary school principal, I hear a zillion times in a zillion ways , all delightful, each year...I then get to taste soup and cornbread and pumpkin pie until, well, until the end of the day because I would never want to dissappoint any of my students!
The idea behind this holiday is to stop and think about what we are thankful for...is that what the pilgrims did? They were thankful the Lenape didn't kill them mostly...just like we are sometimes just thankful that no one got drunk, no one brought up the evil cousin's wedding, or no one fought about who gets the leather recliner when pop pop dies!
If you are reading this then you know I am on a great adventure trying to define my life after 60 and after kids...and one of the exercises is, of course, enumerating my blessings...which are numerous. I am eternally grateful for my husband, my children, my friends, my family, and my job. I am grateful that I can sleep in on weekends and I don't have to clean the house anymore. I am grateful that we are able to pay for my youngest son's college tuition with a minimum of help. I am grateful that my brother and his family are back in our fold and we are able to share our love and pride for each others' children. I am grateful for the wonderful house Billy and I bought together and the wonderful family that lives next door...
If we had taken my suggestion and offered something positive about all of the people around my table this is what I would have said:
Billy...you worked hard to find yourself this year and ended up in a wonderful position that was just right for you...
Michaeljohn...you continue to work hard and live the life that you have always wanted...and you did a fantastic job on finding that new car!
Jennifer...you work so hard to be a good wife and help take care of your Mom...good for you
KT...this has been the roughest year of your life and each day you are hanging in and offering intelligence, sensitivity, and love when it is the most difficult.
Tom...you are slowly finding your way back to us...I am grateful for your sense of humor and your love of our family
Michelle...I am so impressed with how hard you work and how aware you are of who you are and how you live your life on your own terms
Jake...I am as proud of you as I ever have been...you finished high school...got into the right college...you are working hard and actually TESTED out of an exam...and you are working hard to continue your basketball...growing up never looked so good!
So there you have it...screw Norman Rockwell...I have found my great American family.
HAPPY THANKSGIVING

Body Issues?? ME???

Crap,hunh???ooooo that hurt...of course, she didn't say I ate that crap did she?
All of my life starting when I was a teenager and taller than almost anyone I knew, I watched what I ate...and any Saturday night binge was met with a few Correctols to alleviate the "swelling". In my 20's I had babies and was slim because I was...i was running after kids, playing tennis, smoking cigarettes and "watching" what I ate...I looked fabulous. In my 30's I was doing the same things...but I added diet pills...lots of running after the same kids, grocery store, tennis...and again, I looked fabulous.
In my young 40's...42 to be exact...I had a baby...my husband left me...and I didn't eat again for about 5 years...I smoked cigarettes, took diet pills, ran after my baby, and walked and walked and walked...just like Forrest Gump...and still, I looked damn good. I got married at age 48 and for the next 10 years I worked hard at managing my weight...I quit smoking and I went to Weight Watchers and then Weight Watchers online and Nutra Systems and the one with Kirsty Alley and took diet pills and was still looking cute...
And then, one day about 3 years ago...I was in my late 50's and I just got hungry...it was 5 months before my son got married, I was dieting like crazy to look good for his August wedding, and I just decided I could not do it anymore...I couldn't feel that fuzzy or hungry or anxious or frustrated ever again...I was hungry, God dammit, and I wasn't going to take it anymore! So I began to eat...similar to walking. I ate and ate and ate. And gained lots, and lots and lots...let's just say too many pounds... ouch!
Some days I am disgusted with myself but more than not I think i am not so bad for a 60 year old broad who realizes she has worked hard all of her life and has finally, and at last, learned that I do not die with a second piece of pie!
My daughter has learned moderation and I could not be prouder...perhaps if I had learned that secret I would not have let menopause and lasagna have their way with me...I can live without MickeyD's but who doesn't love pizza on a Friday night or an afternoon of Margaritas and Nachoes Grande!!

mickeyd's double cheeseburger...

i remember the day i realized i was raised eating crap...i called my mother from colorado and told her, "mom i eat like shit...'i know", she said...i do too and i taught you..."  my mother had a staple of dinners that were on rotation...my favorite was a toss up between scrambled eggs with hot dogs and hamburger helper...another one of my faves for sleepovers was the block of velveeta melted for nachos...why did i ever stop eating that??? i got into eating healthy  by my unhealthy eating habits...after many attempts at numerous diets over the years, (atkins...bacon and cheese? no problem...fat tree cheese...yummy...diet pills with a red bull chaser anyone???)  i have found that my body is responding best to a cleaner diet...the less processed the better...like fruit for example...i did not eat a piece of fruit for my first year on the atkins diet...i got crack skinny and fit into a size 6 jeans (for like an hour) but still...feeling guilty for eating fruit...that's just not right...now i eat as much fruit as i want and bread and pasta too...as long as it is brown of course...i even gave up the Diet Coke...sometimes i honestly think i may be more proud of quitting diet coke than the butts...i used to always say that of all my vices diet coke would be the one that killed me...that aspartame is some crazy shit and so NOT organic...occassionally i will have a diet coke which i think has also helped me battle my food obsession...moderation...friends of mine will say everything in moderation except moderation...and although i do have days that i live by that they are few and far between...yesterday for example i had birthday cake for breakfast, lunch and dinner and am kicking myself in the ass for being to lazy to drive and get my one true love who has never left me and has ALWAYS made me feel better no matter the situation....a McDonald's double cheeseburger...due to the excessive cake consumption, completely guilt free, i will have to wait until my next relapse for my mickey d's...but not to worry...because i have learned, everything in moderation...except of course moderation when it comes to a mickey d's double cheeseburger...yes...i have eaten 3 in a sitting before and i am damn proud...and as healthy as i have become by eating organic and clean, and however much shit my mom gives me for making her eat whole grain pasta, nothing will ever come between me and my double cheeseburger...but let's be honest here...when we talk about our relation to food we really mean our relation to our  body and i don't think there are enough gigibites in the world for all of the blogging that my mother and i could do on that topic...for now i'll just be happy i have found some moderation...

Food...good, bad, processed, fresh...

I grew up in the 50's. My dad worked week nights in the restaurant business and during the week my Mother put a full dinner out for me and my brothers...I remember pork chops, peas and applesauce, chili with green beans, meat loaf with mashed potatoes and corn, and spaghetti and meatballs with a salad, and always a big glass of whole milk. We always had more fresh fruit than candy and more cheese than chips...never soda except on Saturday...prime rib and baked potato on Sunday when my Dad was there.
But something happened in the early 60's...I like to call it the Greeen Giant effect...suddenly convenience was more inportant than wholesome. Niblet corn in butter sauce over fresh corn on the cob and flaked potatoes in a box over peeling, boiling and mashing...damn...my mom learned easy was better!
And then...OMG...McDonald's and Burger King and Arby's and the list goes on and on...before you knew it we were having burgers and fries and milkshakes on a regular basis. Even when my parents opened their own restaurant they made their world famous "chocolate cake" from Duncan Hines...I swear!
When I became a mother I jumped on the convenience band wagon...using ready to drink baby formula, jarred baby food, and boxed biscuits. Oh I made Christmas cookies from scratch when the kids were little but have you met Slice and Bake...I mean, come on! Why bother with the sifter, the wisk, the fake vanilla, the egg separator, the flour, the butter, the Crisco...really, why?
And the beat went on...Kraft Mac and cheese with hotdogs thrown in for protein (I AM NOT KIDDING), Hawaiian Punch, Golden Grahams and frozen waffles. While I was starving myself to stay thin I was feeding my children processed anything...and feeling good about it!
The happy ending here is my children, all three of them, have learned how to eat healthy... embarrassingly for me... they have learned on their own. Carbs are such a dirty word with these kids, if WHITE anything is mentioned in connection with chewing I get an eyes to heaven, "Mom..." and a mini lecture on eating, as I chomp on a sugar cookie with jelly in the center.
the truth is I am glad all 3 of them are healthy eaters. It is one less thing I don't have to feel guilty about...
But I have to comment on my daughter's choices...you have whole wheat Mac and cheese in your cupboard...you really do...organic garbonzo beans AND you eat whole wheat Doritios for Christ sake...where do you find this stuff?

Happy Birthday KT

Before I get to food...a topic I LOVE...I want to wish my baby, my middle child, the center of my heart, my only daughter, my princess, my punkinhead, my diva, my soulmate and my best friend Happy Birthday. ?? years ago (I will let you tell if you want) my miracle was you. Every minute my girl, has been a grand adventure and I would not have given up one second of it for all of the $$ in the world. The laughing, the crying, and the wishing upon a kazillion stars and birthday candles have all brought us here...STILL trying to figure it all out. I wouldn't have it any other way because always remember...the joy is in the journey...once you reach the destination I am pretty sure you are dead. Happy Birthday, Punk...love, yo yo ma

Accomodations/Changes/ Adaptations...Really Who Cares?

KT and I are discussing our blogging...how it is going...how we are going about it...etc. We are enjoying the hell out of it AFTER it is written but we have promised no pressure on the WHEN we get it done...if you read KT's blog you know it works better that way. However, we have decided to make one adjustment. I have been doing the writing and KT has been taking my lead...now we will call each other with the topic and have a chance to be the first voice...you might not care...but KT and I do...we are going to now do our take on food...please enjoy!

any given sunday...

my mother and i have completely different schedules...always have...she is in the school system and has always had the traditional summer and holidays off...except of course when she became momma bigshot and went on the administration side (shout out to lynnwood lions!) and lost her summers...but other than the years she was raising my older brother and i and of course the year The Baby was born she has always been a 9-5 ish monday thru friday type of gal...i, on the other hand, have known from a young age that a 9-5 , 7-3, 11-7 or however the hell you want to stack the time was not the type of job  that appealed to me...the thought of having to be forced to stay somewhere doing something i may not enjoy always made me feel a tad nauseous and scared...i am not afraid of hard work and i would like to think i actually enjoy sinking my teeth into any new projects whether they be physical or mental...what i think my problem has always been is that once there is a deadline, whether self imposed or not,  i become consumed with either getting the job done or thinking about when and how am i going to get the job done when it is the last thing in the world i want to do...it kind of takes over...it infiltrates me like a bad flu and holds my free spirit captive until the work is done...it's like once i am obligated to do something most of the joy flies away...and being my mother's daughter, if i decide to do something i must do it right or why bother doing it at all...i realize how lucky i am that at age 36 in 3 days i have been able to succeed in finding my way without ever having a 401k and being ok about it...of course, others may think i'm not so lucky and may even  been foolish for living without the security...but it never made me feel secure only sadness that my spirit would die...very dramatic, i know, but very true...i just need to do things on my terms...of course i Must do some things some of the time but mostly i have figured out how to do most things on my time...which is why, much to michael john's chagrin...any given day is my sunday... 

A Sunflower Sunday

Sunday is my favorite day...I call it my "dining room table" day meaning today is the day I clean off the dining room table of all of the stuff that has accumulated during the week...plus, of course, I do the wash, the bills, the food shopping and on and on. In the winter I am usually doing these jobs in the house spending time with my husband and in the warm weather I often go outside with him and friends and neighbors. A sunflower kind of day, no matter the weather. Usually I see my KT at sometime on Sunday but as you all know she is in Colorado and I am not...and you all know that I miss her...especially on Sunday. She might help me in the garden, or walk with me at the college or even go food shopping with me just to spend time with me...good times.
But today turned into a very special Sunday because my Buddy, my youngest, was home from college for the day AND he spent almost all of it with me! I know my boy was missing his sister almost as much as I was and we were happy to have each other...and OMG, we had fun. We did the wash, ran errands, went to KT's house and picked up the mail, played with the cats and watered the plants, came home and watched JUNO and cried a little, watched some football, went food shopping for him and me, and bought some great burritos for dinner. Fabulous day for him and I. Had some great conversations and learned a few things about my freshman in college...interesting things...food for thought for me!
As I begin my reinvention of myself I know there is one thing I would never change nor give up ...my relationship with my children. My children fill my heart in a way no other person I know can...As they reveal themselves to me, whether their age is 19, 36, or 37 I find the most incredible human beings underneath their beautiful exteriors...warm, funny, sensitive, oh I could go on and on...after all, they are MY children!
My point here is to focus on the very positive aspects of my relationships with these 3...the good times, the happy moments, the sweet bedtimes...sooner or later the rougher times with my kids will probably be talked about...but not tonight, not when I am on such a natural high from the afternoon, not at the end of a Sunflower Sunday...what about you...happy stories of you and your Mother??

where would i be without my bitches...

best thing my mother ever taught me...well one of the best because there has been many...the first time my heart was broken was by a girl friend...she chose the man over me...actually now that i think about it my first 2 heartbreaks were close girl friends...both pushed me aside for men...the first actually married him and now has children with him so maybe she chose correctly...the second i have no idea where she is or who she is with...i still think about her...i can actually remember when she "dumped" me...she was making a mix tape (yes tape:) and i thought it was for me because i was making her one...i thought i caught her and was amazed that we were both making each other one even after she insisted it was for "dickhead"...we were in her kitchen and i was leaning against the counter and it sunk in...oh shit...here goes another one...but still to this day i have the most faith in my posse of femme fatales...i have continued to lose some but have also been blessed with gaining more...i have my crew now...i know who has my back completely...trauma does that...it shows you who really cares...it's easy to be a friend when life is peachy but the true friend hangs when it's shitty...and scary...and so not fun for like months...unless of course when you are with them, talking to them or just thinking about them and they help you remember what fun is, how funny you are and that it won't always be not fun...oh how i love my girls...and even though my momma has said she never wants to be my friend she is my ultimate one...she is my queen bee...and i may not know a lot at this juncture in my life but i DO know i am a good friend to have and that i have my mom to thank for that...

Friendship

I went shopping with my 2 of my girlfriends today...we sat at lunch and I told them my latest drama and mapped out my plans for another new future...I had forgotten how good it is to be with people who just loved me because they always have. We had so much fun going in and out of stores and laughing about what would work for me or them...what I would wear as opposed to them...SUCH differences among three women that have been friends for 45 years! Sometimes they drive me crazy and sometimes I need to be alone...but most times I need to be with them for some nurture, some tears, some laughter, some reminiscences and, of course, some juicy gossip.
Please know that when I die it will be my female friends that carry me to my grave. They carried me all the way through my life and I know they will carry me out the way I want...with humor, respect, and a "bedazzled" coffin!
From the time my KT was a young girl I always emphasized to her that her female friends were critically important to her development as a female and to never dis the girls for the boys...and I know she listened. She has always been a true and loyal friend...even when she was incredibly disappointed because her friends had put the boys first she has hung in and worked at being a good friend.
I love her friends. I have so much fun seeing them together laughing and singing and talking about cooking, their mothers (ouch), their sex lives, the Justin Timberlake concert and, of course, some juicy gossip. So, the topic today is female friendship...over rated or under sold? What do you think?

Day #1

This is my garden...I hope it speaks about me...some days I think it describes me and some days I am not even close to feeling like that looks...
Welcome to another new life for me...After being married (twice) and raising 3.5 children (a step child I only had 1/2 the time) I find myself astoundingly alone. I have a husband...a really nice guy, but he appears to be busy with other things...so I have decided to find other things for me too. My daughter KT moved away recently (again, I might add) and we thought creating a blog for us might be fun...you know, picking topics and discussing them from a Mother...a 60 year old Mother's perspective...and an adult daughter...a 36 year old daughter's perspective. Sort of like talking on the phone or texting...but I hate talking on the phone and I hate texting. I like sitting around the table talking but she went to Colorado...so I hope we will try this! The obvious topic today would be the Obama win but we both completely agree that this is a magnificent mandate from the American people and we are incredibly proud to be a part of this group.
A big issue for me today was wearing black patent leather shoes with navy pants...the minute I put them on I knew she would have laughed at me or raised her eyes to heaven and then said that line that drives me crazy..."Mom, you are so cute". translation..."Mom, you have lost all sense of style which proves you are getting old". I hate when she says that...I always wonder what Tim Gunn would say...probably the same damn thing...So what do you think, my reader...can you wear black patent leather shoes with navy blue pants and still be fashionable?