any given sunday...

my mother and i have completely different schedules...always have...she is in the school system and has always had the traditional summer and holidays off...except of course when she became momma bigshot and went on the administration side (shout out to lynnwood lions!) and lost her summers...but other than the years she was raising my older brother and i and of course the year The Baby was born she has always been a 9-5 ish monday thru friday type of gal...i, on the other hand, have known from a young age that a 9-5 , 7-3, 11-7 or however the hell you want to stack the time was not the type of job  that appealed to me...the thought of having to be forced to stay somewhere doing something i may not enjoy always made me feel a tad nauseous and scared...i am not afraid of hard work and i would like to think i actually enjoy sinking my teeth into any new projects whether they be physical or mental...what i think my problem has always been is that once there is a deadline, whether self imposed or not,  i become consumed with either getting the job done or thinking about when and how am i going to get the job done when it is the last thing in the world i want to do...it kind of takes over...it infiltrates me like a bad flu and holds my free spirit captive until the work is done...it's like once i am obligated to do something most of the joy flies away...and being my mother's daughter, if i decide to do something i must do it right or why bother doing it at all...i realize how lucky i am that at age 36 in 3 days i have been able to succeed in finding my way without ever having a 401k and being ok about it...of course, others may think i'm not so lucky and may even  been foolish for living without the security...but it never made me feel secure only sadness that my spirit would die...very dramatic, i know, but very true...i just need to do things on my terms...of course i Must do some things some of the time but mostly i have figured out how to do most things on my time...which is why, much to michael john's chagrin...any given day is my sunday...