The Nature of the Mammogram

So...interesting week...much has gone on for all of us...and I began the week with a mamogram...I get one every 6 months because I have dense breasts...I always say calling them dense makes them feel stupid...bad joke. I go to a seriously wonderful women's center...the only men you ever see there are those that are trying (so very, very hard) to support their wives, daughters, girlfriends or mothers...but mostly it is women...we don't talk to each other and we don't make eye contact...we read old People, Glamour, and Good Housekeeping magazines and pretend not to be nervous...you know, what the hell...my breasts in a vice 4 times...sort of like how it must feel if they were run over by a car...4 times...but only for 5 seconds each...doesn't make me nervous at all.

As I sit in silence I wonder why, other than a quick smile, we are not looking or talking to each other... and I decide that any answer to "what are you here for?" could make us all very uncomfortable and unable to respond...so we keep our eyes down until our names are called...but I have no doubt that if there were a woman visibly upset with no one to support her every woman in that room would be offering as much comfort as she could...but... if there were someone to support her then we would just be watching and feeling a small pit in the bottom of her stomach waiting for our turn...it is the nature of the mamogram...
 
At my center we never come back to the waiting room again until we are completely finished and we hear those words..."All good, you don't have to come back for 6 months (or a year)"...Then we...actually I...walk out with some pep in my step, smile at everyone, thank the receptionist...kiss the parking attendant...and go back to work to continue a pre-Thanksgiving week in an elementary school...and silently tell myself repeatedly that I am thankful  for stupid but clear breasts...I say it out loud to all of my female friends as well...but... if this were a fair world...I could share with even more people in my world  how this test makes me feel...both before, during and after...

Oprah...Again...

So...once again I ( and the rest of us, by the way) did not get a ticket to be on Oprah's Favorite Things That She Is Giving Away or whatever she calls it show...actually I don't even watch it...I watched it once a long, long time ago...maybe her very first one...and on that show she had a Norma Kamali jumpsuit that she said was the most comfortable, gorgeous, easy to wear outfit for at home OR going out she ever owned and we at home MUST simply go out and buy it...for...and I will never forget this...$765.00...really, Oprah...over 700 DOLLARS...and then she said, "buy two in different colors, THAT's how much I love them" oh yes, she said that...

Who does she think is watching that show? Lisa Vanderpump (my new favorite name) and the other Housewives of Beverly Hills...or does she know that her audience is just women getting home from work tired and cranky in their Kohl's outfits and Payless shoes getting an hour to sit down before picking the kids up from CCD, before putting the chicken strips and fries in the oven, before throwing in a load of wash,  before doing the homework...and CERTAINLY before getting into their Norma Kamali jumpsuit to look hot for their husband when he gets home!

So I didn't see it...but my God am I hearing about it...people at work, on TV, on the internet, everyone is talking about it...and I guess I just have to talk about it too...whenever I think about it I can only envision the Saturday Night Live where they satirized it and someone had her baby right there while someone's else's head blew off...FREE STUFF...and really FABULOUS FREE STUFF...but only if you are there...because if you are not there...then...

You get up from the couch and think about how much fun that would have been...


really, Oprah...a FREAKIN' cruise...

Friends Are A Blessing...

Friends are a blessing...no doubt about it...if you have friends then you have it all...someone to talk with, cry with, laugh with, exercise with, watch TV with, shop with, cook with, travel with,...you get the idea.

So... I read an article the other day written by a woman who said she was thinking about those most important friends in her life that have melted away...people that she considered BFFs or Besties at the time but that she no longer contacts or communicates with...she said that they just didn't have that much in common anymore and ran out of things to say...
For example she wrote about those women whose children went to nursery school with her children...they shared play dates, coffee, shopping, even went out to dinner and parties with each other and their husbands when their kids were in school together...but then the kids grew older, went to different elementary schools, and they kind of lost touch...

I too have had many wonderful friends that I have shared this kind of fun with...3 children, 2 husbands, 12 household moves, and 39 years later I have left a trail of very, very special women in my life that I just never hear from anymore...Diane in Boise, Idaho who took me camping in a tent and showed me how to shoot a gun...all she ever did was shake her head and say she never met anyone like me before...and all i did was tell her camping to me was black and white television and shooting was something we did late at night in dark bars with cute boys and shots of vodka.

Betty in Houston who was my daily devoted tennis partner, spoke with a funny accent and was madly in love with my (then) husband...God, I should have let her have him...or Marcia in Indianapolis who dressed in gingham dresses and had recipe cards with her formal engraved name on them...but we carpooled, played racquetball together and she loved to hear me curse!

My friend Mary and I raised our older kids together...grades 1 through 8...we saw each other just about every day through sports and school...sitting in gym after gym after gym cheering for each other's children...Friday nights sitting in her kitchen playing cards, smoking cigarettes, and drinking vodka tonics...talking about every thing under the sun from underwear to cramps...from old parents to new cars...from bratty kids to annoying teachers...from Harry Chapin to rap music...and then one day we moved about 5 miles away and I had a baby and got a divorce and then she was gone... our children grew up and every once in awhile we say hi on Facebook...and it will never be the same...but I will never, ever forget her and the years we spent together... 

My college room mate the beautiful Rosanne who was the maid of honor at my first wedding...we lived together for 3 years and  shared everything together...clothes, classes, heartaches, gossip and falling in love and getting married...we try and try and try to stay in touch and visit each other but the years have taken a toll on our friendship...she lives in California, stayed gorgeous, and enjoys a lifestyle that I can only watch from afar...and visa versa...I miss her and love remembering how we would laugh and cry together about mean girls and dumb boys!   

I am blessed to have many, many women in my life today...so many more that I could mention and probably will some day...female family and friends that I treasure, enjoy and admire...I believe with all of my heart that I am who I am because of all of these remarkable women that have and are still leaving their mark on me...KT has wonderful friends too...neither one of us has a sister...but we both feel like we got to pick our own!!

Happy Birthday KTBethSusan Hauer...

happy birthday to my beautiful girl...I have always told her she is my middle child which means she is at the very center of my heart and without her I lose all sense of balance...

I'M BAAAAACK...

So...where have I been...I don't know, really, just living my life I guess...for whatever reason writing this seemed more than I wanted to do...typing this seemed like a chore... and the hardest part...finding things to write about...seemed impossible. 

It has been almost a year since my last entry and certainly lots of wonderful things have happened...school has closed and opened with much joy and excitement on both ends...Jake has come home for the summer and gone back to college...again, with much joy and excitement on both ends...and the Phillies well...they DIDN'T make the World Series so whatever joy and excitement they created they also killed...dead...with a large thump!