Jake and Harry...Perfect Together

Since most of our readers are parents I wanted to share with you an experience I have had as a parent. I have been blessed with 4 children and am now getting ready to send the very last one out of the nest…This is a story about him...

When my son Jake was in 2^nd grade a new author named JK Rowling had a phenomenal first book called Harry Potter and the Sorcerer’s Stone. I had heard that it was a fantastic read for everyone but maybe a little scary for some. So I decided that it was a perfect read aloud for me and my youngest child, a way for us to spend a little time together in this busy hurried world.

We read it…and, of course, we loved it! We talked and talked about the characters, the setting, what it would be like to go to boarding school, what it would be like to know magic and on and on. When we realized that there was to be a series we were exhilarated. We were so wrapped up in Harry’s world that we read those books as soon as they came out and joined in the world wide excitement of what would happen next to all of these characters that we so loved and admired.

By the fourth book Jake was reading them on his own and encouraging me to read them quickly as well so we could discuss and remember the fun of each story. When the movies came out we always made a date to see them together and we always got the DVD as a present for some occasion.

When Jake went on to Haverford Middle School Hogwarts and all that came with it helped both of us stay close to each other. As I am sure most of you know, or will know, 7^th graders are not the easiest group to talk to! But when all else failed I could always bring up Quidditch and talk about his sports or Ron and Hermione and get a conversation going about his friendships. As the years went on we would compare Haverford High to Hogwarts and his favorite and least favorite teachers to Professor Snape and Dumbledore.

And then in the summer of 2007 it happened…JK Rowling published her last Harry Potter and my Jake became a high school senior. My heart took a stutter step. Where did the time go? Just as Harry was about to begin a new journey as an adult so was my boy preparing to finish his last year at home.

Of course, he ran and got the book and stayed up all night reading it. And ,of course, he bugged and bugged me to read it too. But, I just couldn’t bring myself to end the story…either Harry’s or Jake’s I guess.

Well, Spring Break gave me the time…and I made him a promise that I would finish it. At 3:00 AM on the Wednesday of Spring Break I closed the Harry Potter Book and there was my Jake sleeping beside me on the couch just waiting for me to complete the journey. I woke him up, and we laughed and talked about the glorious experience he and I had shared for so many years. And probably for the very last in my life, he let me tuck him in!

When I went to bed I couldn’t help but be sad that the book and that part of my life was over but so very, very grateful for time that my boy and I had talking about his life… while reading about another little boy and his life. The opportunities that Jake and I had to talk about what is important or kind or smart or safe to us were immeasurable thanks to a boy and his magic…honestly, I think we were touched by that magic!

Graduation was June 9…College is no longer a dream…my nest is empty...my Elvis has left the building!

Making Connections in My School

“Unless someone like you cares a whole awful lot, nothing is going to get better, its’ not!” Words written by Theodore Gueisel when writing a book about ruining the environment and a little grumpy old man trying to protect it. Thanks to that book and many more experts and public relations campaigns the whole world has become aware of the need to take care of our planet…and I am so glad that our community has taken up the connection between ourselves and the Earth…many of us and our families have begun the work of recycling, saving electricity and bringing sustainable bags to the Superfresh.

Another connection that I would like to remind us about is our important connection to people…all people. The month of October we will begin to support The Life Center, a place for people with devastating troubles…homeless, hungry, out of work… to go and get help from their community. We will collect new gloves, mittens, hat, scarves and gently used coats to keep them warm in the winter.
Beginning in January one class a week will make lunches for them…and volunteer parents will deliver
those lunches.

In November we will have a food drive…last year we filled a whole van… Could a bus be in our future? In February we will collect Pennies For Patients…$ for the cure of Children’s Cancer.
Many teachers take their students to a home for Seniors where they sing, play cards and games and make crafts with the delighted residents.

We also do community service right here at school by planting beautiful flowers, decorating our halls and helping teachers when they need it. We are working hard helping your children understand their connection not only to the environment but to the people in it.

I am sure in your own life you have helped someone…or…someone has helped you. A small way can mean a huge amount to someone. It doesn’t always have to be helping a person less fortunate…Last week I had been to an administrative meeting at the Admin center that felt like it lasted for about 2 days…in reality maybe 4 hours. I was tired and cranky and knew I had to come back and smile for our staff and students so I decided to treat myself to a WaWa cappuccino! As I stood in line searching for my wallet someone from across the cash register said, “Hey Mrs. Mingey, your coffee is on me!” It was a Lynnewood parent and let me tell you, that parent made my day! I smiled inside and out, thanked him profusely and when I returned to school I was all smiles and energy…that act of kindness touched not only me, but his child whom I immediately told, and everyone else I came in contact with…a great day…Because someone like him cared a whole awful lot…about connecting with another human being.

As you go through your day think about connecting to other people…you never know who could use a cup of coffee or a smile or a kind word… When you see me ask who the parent was that treated me to coffee…and maybe we can also chat how you are connected and possibly can be connected to this wonderful community of ours!

Things i need to throw away...

So...now that it is Fall and I am changing my closets from summer to fall and really trying to throw away stuff...they say if you haven't worn it for 2 years, or you can't get into it then out it goes into the trash bag. First goes really old sweatpants that make me look like a small tractor trailer hauling pigs to slaughter...a sweater that I used to love that the moths have loved even more...lots of socks that are tight...do feet grow? and how about all of those pants and blouses that shrunk in the back of the closet because they didn't get any sun...oh yes, clothes need sun or they will shrink...that is my story and i am sticking to it...just ask Tina Turner over there...she definitely kept that outfit in a dark closet for too long!

When the closets are completed I am going to continue... I am going to throw away any and all catalogs...they are killing me with new looks, new trends, and new "must haves" for the season...It seems to me I have just emptied my closet of 3 years ago's looks, trends, and "must haves".

I might as well throw away my muffin tins and pie plates...who am I kidding having those in the house. The last time they saw heat was when I let the kids bring them to the beach to use as building blocks in the sand.

Time to get rid of the US and People magazines...Brad and Jen are done, Ben found a new Jen, and Brad and Angelina found ice cream in Africa...who knew...more importantly, who cares...

I am throwing away the guilt I feel every time one of my kids or my husband begins a sentence with, "You should have...(told me, called me, helped me, woken me...fill in your own should have...)"my answer now is get a grip...I lift my eyes to heaven...and the message gets delivered...

I think now I will throw away saying yes to every invitation...even though I don't want to go...I love my friends and family but from this day forward I will not be at jewelry parties or Southern Home Luncheons...ever...

Wow...let's have a contest...old Halloween costumes...who still has their term papers from college?...every birthday card your kids ever sent you?...buttons, OMG the buttons I have...resentments, jealousies, worries...THROW THEM AWAY...

so what do you think...what would you like to throw out?

What I should be doing on a Sunday in October:

• Wash
• Vacuuming
• Food Shopping
• Writing teacher Observations
• Preparing my schedule for the week
• Calling Aunt Mag
  
• Calling Aunt Catherine
• Returning school phone calls...GOD, I HATE THE PHONE!!
• Cleaning the windows
• Taking the air conditioner window units out
• Preparing the plants to come inside
• Having sex with my husband
• Shopping for new baby gifts for 2 special friends that just had grandbabies...AT LEAST BUY A CARD FOR CHRIST SAKE!

What I am doing on this Sunday in October:

• SEE IMAGES...

Matchy Matchy

So I was getting dressed for work the other day and I knew I had a long day with lots of different parts...different needs that called for different styles of dress...and, of course, my new most important rule of dressing...COMFORT. I had a funeral, a cabinet meeting, a teacher observation, read a story to 2 Kindergarten classes, dinner with friends and an Ed foundation evening meeting...what to wear?

I began with a black, and white skirt made of the dreaded travel knit...a really great COMFORTABLE black top...travel knit, of course,( a topic for another day)...black stockings, black patent leather flats with silver buckles and a black, white, and silver scarf around my neck... jewelry...silver watch, silver and black bracelet and silver hoops...outfit completed...I looked in the mirror and heard my daughter's voice...

MATCHY MATCHY...

oh yeah, everything I had on correlated with the next thing...not like an edgy Project Runway collection that has to go together in a high fashion sort of way... more like Garanimals. It drives my KT crazy and gives me a feeling of completeness...symmetry...I am finished and I look "together"...she thinks I look contrived and a little plastic I guess...

so here is the generational to reflect upon...when you look for a necklace, do you look for the earrings to match...when you buy slacks do you find the sweater in the exact shade...are you buying suits or blazers on their own...have you ever worn mother and daughter dresses??!!

Now here is the really BIG question that will tell me whether you are in my matchy matchy group...will you wear gold jewelry with silver?? KT, my girl...where do you stand?

Happy Birthday Yo Yo Ma

"A mother is she who can take the place of all others but
whose place no one else can take."
-- Cardinal Mermillod



dark hair softer than the raven
deep brown wide open eyes
skin smooth and soft as blue skies


a laugh that forces you to join
her presence igniting the room
an honesty greater than most presume


wisened by loving and living
advice empowering the weakest link
to stand up and believe in what they think



for the three she is the maven
always answering the cries
cheering and believing in all of the tries

presiding over the four who adjoin
showing us the beauty of an heirloom
living all she has taught in the classroom

always without fail delivering
a heart impossible to shrink
forever we will be in sync


Happy Birthday to the one i get to call Mom....
I am TRULY blessed

~Meeennn~

On monday night we watch 2 and a half men...it is a sitcom that is the funniest thing on TV...incredibly vulgar...filled with sexual inuendo...and sometimes just plain dirty. i asked around and i found that lots of women i know watch it...and love it!
so here is my question for today...Most women I know and especially myself have a special aversion for men who only think of themselves and sex above all things...my ex husband was one of those...and i can be counted on to be the first one at the table to say most (not all, i did get very lucky the 2nd time)men are pigs and not to be trusted...
so here is what i want to know...according to as much celebrity gossip that i can read Charlie Sheen most definitely fits into that category... stories of prostitutes and drugs and partying like a movie star...why do all women...including me... think he is so cute...so funny...so, so, so Charlie?? why? why? why?

we always forgive them don't we girls...what's up with that??

Call Phone Conundrum

I can't hear on my cell phone...on any cell phone, actually. the voice is either too loud and scratchy or too low...either way, for me, the sound is never as clear as it is on a land line...my kids think i am crazy...they don't even have land lines...but i know, in work, on a land line phone, i can hear people so much clearer than i can on my cell...

this frustrates the hell out of my children, especially kt and jake...kt always assumes i am not listening...that i am either watching tv or on the computer...jake just loses patience with me as i keep sayin...what? who? where?...honestly...I CAN'T HEAR YOU...

so here is my conundrum...do i just keep saying uh hunh or sure or laugh if it seems appropriate as if i am speaking to someone who is talking to me in Chinese...or do I keep asking for something to be repeated which annoys the hell out of them...a conundrum to be sure...let's reflect...let me know what you think!...talk to you tomorrow...on my land line...

Day #1...10/03/09

I am going to try to write in this everyday...i don't know what about but I know i am interested in the process of writing...how to make it interesting...how to write so people will want to read it...how to make it uncommon...
i guess the first thing i need is a topic...i look over people's blogs and see lots of i am having a baby or we had a baby or hello to our families far away blogs...there are menopause blogs and fantasy football blogs...teacher, mommy, and girlfriend blogs...student blogs and artist blogs...food columnist blogs and celebrity blogs...all perhaps trying to recreate the success of the Julia/Julie success...
For me...i am going to write about what i know... just what I know...my experiences...my view of the world...and who would want to read this...who is interested in my perspective...and do i care...is it just for me? my kids? my family? my friends? or am i hoping for more...i guess i will have to wait and let this evolve...
saturday night in october...crisp, clear...we had my aunt's memorial mass today ...i loved seeing my family all together...my cousins, my uncles and aunts...i am embarassed that these people that share my blood have lived the ridiculous cliche...funerals and weddings...i had a hard time leaving the luncheon...i don't know when i will see them again...but i do know that if i ever need them...BAM...here they are.

My Eulogy for My Aunt Rosemarie

I was actually raised with my aunt Rosemarie and my Aunt Catherine…at times I think that they were my very first girlfriends…but there was a big difference between my aunts…Aunt Catherine was a rule follower…always where she said she was supposed to be…always home on time…always helping Grandmom around the house and in the kitchen…Aunt Rosemarie…well…maybe not so much…she is the one that introduced me to The Bristol Stomp, Make-up, how to tease my hair…out to HERE…and boys…oh she liked boys…and they liked her too…how could they resist…she was all smiles and laughter…and fun…it was always fun to be around my aunt Rosemarie.

As a matter of fact the first time I ever remember her getting really serious about anything was when she told me about meeting someone named Augie Lari…first we all tried so hard to get his name straight…was it Augie? Was it Lari with 2 r’s and a y or An R and i…that took us a while… she told me he was slim, handsome with great cheekbones and slick black hair…and I was going to be a bridesmaid…my senior year in high school and I was in love with love…my father gave her away and my Grandmother wore blue and it was a beautiful, beautiful crisp November day…we wore green and gold brocade and the dress was so beautiful that I wore it to my senior prom…we drove around South Philadelphia first taking photos at the lakes and then visiting houses where the men had a shot of whiskey and the women giggled and had our pictures taken…that night I saw my aunt Rosemarie and my Uncle Lari dance and laugh and I saw the way he looked at her…and I knew God was in His heaven and all was right in my Aunt Ro’s world!

Aunt Rosemarie always wanted to be a wife and Mother…I believe the most noble profession a woman can achieve…and she was such a good one…With each child her heart grew bigger and her capacity to love expanded with it…First handsome Mark…who once won a trip to Paris on Bastille Day and tried to give it to his parents to let them know how important they are to him …sweet patty who grew up to be her mother’s best friend and confidant…and Brian the baby and the student…and now an assistant principal …beloved by every student and colleague that he comes into contact with…so much for my aunt to be proud of…

My aunt rosemarie was the nicest person I have ever met...no matter how long it had been or how late it was she opened the door and her heart with open arms and welcomed all of us. That kind of unconditional love is so rare in this world and it was always there for us in her house…always! She had a generosity of spirit that, in this world of personal agendas, is rarely seen. I never once heard her put herself first...it was always, My Mark, My MaryAnne, My Brian, My Patty, My sister Catherine, My Lari, my brother Dominic, my Grandchildren, my nieces, my nephews, my sister in law Joan, my friends...everyone but herself…always…

When Aunt Rosemarie got sick Brian called me on the sly because of course she didn’t want me to know…I didn’t know what to do …I called my brothers and I called Brian often until I finally just sent her flowers and called and went to see her…every single time I went for a visit she was as positive and as happy as always…Brian tells me she was like that with everyone…she never let anyone see the sadness or the pain she was feeling…that would not be her way…

My Aunt Rosemarie was blessed in many ways…I have spoken about Uncle Lari and her children…my Uncle Dominic has certainly been a blessing to all of us…I know he visited my Aunt every Sunday morning and always brought some sunshine and laughter to the breakfast table…one of her most special blessings was and is my Aunt Catherine…she and my Aunt Ro were the most wonderful tag team…if one of them didn’t get us for something…the other one did!! and I know all of us are so very grateful that she had her to care for her and keep her safe until the end.

My aunt would have loved the gospel…I leave you with what she used to tell us…because no one I will ever know lived the Beautitudes the way my Aunt Ro did…

Rosemarie is finally getting to know her father...and spending some time with her mother and her brother, my father...in heaven...I hope they are not talking Italian...because my aunt forgot it all!