Chuck Had It All...And He Knew It

So...I went to a funeral last week...one of my most favorite teachers lost her father too young and she was just devastated. She gave a beautiful eulogy helping us to get to know him a little better...and then a friend and co-worker spoke. He said something that just struck me that day and every day since...he said, "Chuck Had It All...And He Knew It"

This little sentence has been in my mind...and my heart... since I heard it...WOW, why don't we all know it? Why don't we all realize that our life ...our simple family life...would really be special to so very many people...we have love, we have laughter, and we have each other. Even though so and so hurt our feelings in June and such and such didn't remember our birthday and what's her name didn't come to our son's game...they are still ours...let's put THAT in perspective...no matter what...they are OURS...and now I think, "Lucky Me" instead of "They drive me crazy!"

So i have to be honest, here...I have decided to embrace Christmas, even though it is my least favorite holiday. I have had so very many wonderful ones and just a few that I allowed to ruin what is family moments...MY family moments...year after year.There is a reason for this season...other than religious...and that is to remind all of us to stop, take a breath, and be grateful for our bounty.

In an ideal world, holidays would stay fixed in time, stuck on endless replay at our happiest moment when everyone we love is present, smiling, with a full plate and a happy heart. No one would ever pass away, move away, split up, get sick, go off to war, have a cancelled flight or be kept away by spiked gas prices. Real life, however, is in a constant state of flux, and that's rarely made so poignant as during the holidays when most people are comfortable sticking to traditions. This year I am going to embrace all of the family changes and realize once and for all...

SUSAN HAS IT ALL...AND SHE KNOWS IT!!

Happy Holidays

The Dirty Bird

So...I was having a semi adventure at a magnificent beach house...the same one as last year...and again, it was a peaceful and calm respite from my everyday life... Although I brought my husband with me.But honestly, he made it better, richer, more interesting and more well...you know. Everytime I come down to this shore town I bring up lots of memories of years past when I was here...

My youngest brother has made his permanent home on the island and when we are together my mind naturally goes back to when we were kids and this was a small...very small beach town. Many memories and images... We all lived in tiny little beach cottages that had running water, 3 bedrooms, one small kitchen and living room combined... but no washer and dryer... On Fridays my mother went to the Avalon laundromat in the next town over to prepare for the weekend...she went with her girlfriends and Yetta...the one with the car. The Avalon laundromat was called "The Dirty Bird" and for some reason she was always happy to go. I had to stay home and watch my brothers...NO BEACH FOR FEAR OF DROWNING...so I was stuck in my house, with no TV, only a transistor radio that "almost" got a station...as were my friends...all of us watching "the babies"!

So off our moms went stuffing into a very, very old green Plymouth with standard gears on the column and 5 women plus wash for at least 17 kids...i could never figure out just what the hell was so much fun about that?? really?? AND...they came back happier than they left...5 hours later I might add. All I knew was we all had clean underwear and I got away from my brothers after she came home and I helped put the clothes away. Sometimes the green Plymouth, and Yetta, had to go back and forth twice because the clean clothes needed so much more room...and when my Mom was the last pickup she had to wait so long she took a nap when she got home because she was exhausted.

My Dad came on Friday night...the wash was done...and the fun began! It was such a sweet, innocent time. It wasn't until years later that I learned that the Avalon laudromat was across the street from a bar called...wait for it... "The Black Eagle"...oh yes, nicknamed, "THE DIRTY BIRD"...easily gotten to while waiting for that washer and dryer to finish...as I said, an innocent time!

Thanksgiving 2009

Random Thoughts about Thanksgiving 2009:

1. I love Thanksgiving
2. It is a wonderful feeling to have all of my children around the table...not so
wonderful to be missing a couple.
3. Beating my brother and the "boys" team in Trivial Pursuit twice!
4. Winning on this question,"What Las Vegas casino has gondeliers?"!
5. Chopping and slicing celery and onions with my husband

EGGNOG

6. Listening to my niece discussing her upcoming wedding plans
7. Meeting my nephew's new girlfriend
8. Walking 2 miles every single morning
9. Jogging for about...a little...to get ready for our 1 mile fun run...and Mr. B...
10. My turkey and stuffing were awesome this year.
11. Getting to know my make pretend grandson Matthew better and better...now that he
is 2...
12. Cutting and chopping celery and onions with my husband

EGGNOG

13. Watching KT take photographs in a joyful way
14. Wondering how much the people tenting outside Best Buy really save and is it worth
it?
15. Are people REALLY going to get up tomorrow for the 5:00 Target opening?
15. 10:00...everyone left...ahhhhhh quiet...

EGGNOG!!!

Last year I wrote a big long blog about all of the things and people I am thankful for...I would like to say...ditto! It was this time last year that I was in a slump and one way I found comfort was in writing this...I have been writing off and on all year but I still find a measure of solace and even fun in writing this.

Now comes Christmas...I do not like it...not at all...but I do like Santa Claus...come back...we will talk!

An Adventure

So...how do you define an adventure? I mean, does it HAVE to be a trip to Tahiti aboard The Kon Tiki or climbing to the summit of Mt. Everest? Is it visiting Europe or Asia for the first time...or can it be the very first day of college, beginning a new job, or driving in Manhattan for the first time? How about dating from Match.com or going to the movies alone?

I hate to think at 61 years old I am out of adventures...that everything I do is old, been done before, or doesn't sound exciting...of course if ever I were to drive in Manhattan, in no way would I consider that "exciting", but most definitely an adventure!

I like to think, if done correctly, each day could be an adventure...so, why aren't they? Why do we accept days as just something to get through rather than something to revel in, something to applaud, something to remember as we lay our heads down, exhausted, not from dull chores but from ADVENTURE!!

Let's define some of the chores each day and figure out how they can be considered adventurous:

1.Driving to work ...I like to play the radio...loud...and sometimes sing and direct the music to punmp myself up(like the guy in the commercial)...certainly an adventure for those watching me!

2.Making lunch...Most days I eat what is available in the refrigerator, either mine or the faculty room...ALWAYS an adventure when I have to decide ...do I cut the fuzzy stuff off, eat around it, or throw it away?

3.Cleaning up the paperwork...interestingly enough I have 2 IN boxes on my desk so when I attack inbox #1 I put it into inbox #2 completely unscathed...until that day...that very "adventurous" day... when I actually DO the work required...SUCH a happy day!

4.Disciplining grade school kids...***see article about the gingerbread man***...

5.Visiting Kindergarten...imagine the excitement everyday when I can walk into a K classroom and everyone wants a hug from Mrs. M...PRICELESS

6. Making dinner...Ordering out from a new spot is ALWAYS an adventure...we try that once a week!

so...what do you think? can you make your life...your day to day existence... adventurous? I tried and didn't do half bad...I almost can't wait to go to work tomorrow to continue my adventure...ALMOST...

PS...my husband requested pot roast for dinner again...oy, what have I done?

Is it appropriate?

So I am sitting in my office when I get an email from a teacher discussing a student's interesting take on a gingerbread man...it soon arrives in my office and ...oh yes...interesting. Between the gingerbread man's legs is a very large, very straight pipe cleaner...hmmmm. So I call for the student to come to my office.He looks incredibly guilty when he walks in and sees his creation on my desk. I point to the offending pipe cleaner and ask him "What is this supposed to be?" He answers, as only a 1st grader can, "A weiner". I say, "Is that okay in school?" and he says...wait for it..."It is inappropriate"...there it is that word...INAPPROPRIATE!

When did we start using that word for everything that is unacceptable in our lives...and WHEN did we teach it to young children? Had I or anyone my age made that gingerbread man with a male member sticking out of it...the action would have been condemned as wrong...I can hear my mother..."You do not do things like that in school or out of school...it is just wrong"...A phrase I heard alot as a child... And I lived to know the difference between right and wrong and good and bad and STILL have a good self image about myself...My parents were never afraid to say it like it is...a model I followed with my own children...when they didn't follow the rules I told them...when they were wrong I told them...when they were bad I told them...when they finished their punishment I told them I loved, loved, loved them and knew they would never do it again...until the next time!

Why are we so afraid to be direct with our children...In my mind inappropriate means you really shouldn't do that, sweetheart...it means oh honey bunny, what were you thinking...it means lets' you and I think of a consequence so it never happens again like no cartoons for one hour tonight...wrong means you better NEVER do it again or you will NEVER get out of your bedroom.Just so you know, my brothers and I are out of our bedrooms and feeling good about ourselves...we loved our parents and listened to them as they guided us through life...did they do it gently when we were "inappropriate"...oh no...there was frustration, anger,lots of silence, and many many missed cartoon Saturday mornings... but mostly there was love.

Here are some Synonyms for inappropriate as defined by Webster and Roget: graceless, improper, inapt, incongruous, incorrect, indecorous, inept, infelicitous, unapt, unbecoming, unfit, unhappy, unseemly, unsuitable, wrong
Related Words inopportune, unfortunate, unseasonable, untimely; immaterial, irrelevant; incompatible, uncongenial, unharmonious; bad, naughty, sinful; blamable, blameworthy, censurable; banned, barred, disallowed; forbidden, interdicted, outlawed, prohibited, proscribed; awkward, gauche, ungraceful; unacceptable, unsatisfactory

So they go from unsuitable to forbidden...such a wide berth for defining one word...personally, I believe children love us more when their life has perameters and restrictions and they don't get to choose their own consequence...they feel how much we love them when we teach them the difference...but I gotta tell ya....that gingerbread man was HYSTERICAL!!

She's my momma.....

Roast of Beef

I was food shopping yesterday when I saw really nice rump roasts that I recognized from years and years ago when I used to cook. I remembered that good old roast of beef that everybody's mother, including mine, made for Sunday dinner. They were on sale...two for one...and I thought oh hell, why not...why not cook a roast of beef on Sunday...we are not doing anything and The Eagles play at 8 and it gets dark early...so, why not!

I came home from the store and my husband is the carrier and the putter away helper and said ,"What is this?" "roast of beef" I answered. "What are you going to do with it", he asked? "Roast it", I said. "When...and why", he said. "Because it was there, "I said....Then he said the most amazing thing..."Do you know that in 15 years of marriage you have never made me a roast beef!" "Wow", i thought..."Really" I said, knowing he was right.

My very first thought was to give the damn thing away...why would I let him know that I can actually make a pretty good roast, oh yeah, i thought about that all Saturday. But in the end, I decided, what the hell...I am going to show my stuff.So i started chopping...potatoes, peppers, carrots, onions and celery. It made me wish that i had done this in the summer using KT's and my peppers and carrots and lettuce for our salad but let's be honest...no one roasts a beef in august...do they??

So it is 3.5 hours later and the roast...made pot roast style...is served(in my pajamas with dirty hair and a messy house!)

Now, this presents a whole new set of problems...who to cook for. You just don't have a roast for two people.My first thought were my girlfriends but you know how that goes...you have to dust, vacuum, clean the bathroom...that just is not going to work for me...neighbors?? too many...how do you choose just a few when they are all together watching football? Family...my brothers live too far away as do my aunts and cousins...my sons are too busy but my sweet KT...PERFECT...she and Tommy will come in pajamas, we can eat around the small table...and even I don't have to get out of my sweats...so...in they came right at 6:00.

so...the verdict...my husband said, Just like Mom used to make...and ease up on the carrots next time"...my fake son in law said" Fantastic, almost as good as my mother's" and my daughter said, "Like I never left home...ditto on the carrots"...
ok...I'll call you when I cook again.

I went into one of my 3rd grades today to say hello and to see what they were working on...The kids did an excellent job of telling me about the stories they were writing...the topic being, their favorite place. I listened to each child name their favorite place...DisneyWorld, the beach, Florida... and then they asked me mine...without hesitation I said, "Our school, Lynnewood".

One adorable little girl, Elizabeth, jumped up and said, "Why don't you write a story and tell us why just like we are doing". The whole class got excited..."yeah, cool, do it"...the teacher pops up with the rules and gives me the Self-editing checklist that all the students are using...it looks like this:
FAVORITE PLACE SELF EDITING CHECKLIST
Content:
• 5 senses • descriptive words
• Topic Sentence • Details
• Concluding Sentence
Grammar
• Indent • Capital Letters
• ! ? . • Beginning Words
• Indent • Spelling
Extras
• Simile • Alliteration

My God...they gave me homework!!
Okay...here goes...

In the morning when I arrive at Lynnewood it is the only time in the day when the school is almost silent.I can hear distant adult voices, a printer printing and the copier copying...the phone has not yet begun to ring and the teachers have not yet entered the office with questions and excitement about the day! I love morning here...I visit teachers, learn about the day they have planned for the kids and check the faculty room for a stray muffin or perhaps left over birthday cake!
By lunchtime the building is full of noise and I see people hustling and bustling everywhere. I get some wonderful hugs that feel so good, I steal some french fries off of a student's tray that taste so good and I smell the chocolate chip cookies being baked in our kitchen that make me want to go down and sample one or maybe two!
At the end of the day I feel tired...happy tired...because I have had another wonderful day at Lynnewood.I get to do a job I love and spend time with all of my Fabulous Fantastic Friends...I do not even mind doing my homework1

So there...a 3rd grade writing project for Mrs. Wolfe's class...what do you think?

i find failure to be a dirty word...my definition of failure is something or someone that does not try...not at all...not lift a finger...not really want to lift a finger...and when things don't work they blame someone else...

of course the obvious failure is walking out on your children and not looking back...other than that...if you are trying as hard as you can and things just don't work out...in this economy...I think you are a hero...just saying...

Sunday Ramblings

Ramblings on a sunday...Phillies lost and i am really feeling down...Jesus, there is war, starving children and New Orleans is still a mess...but the Phillies loss is affecting me the most...that is really fucked up!...

My children...all 4....went to the final Spectrum concert last night featuring Pearl Jam...All my nieces and nephews (at least the fun ones!) were there...20 years ago I would have been there...I have so many cool memories of that place: Bruce Springsteen twice, Neil Diamond, Tom Jones!! and lots of great basketball...but i was just happy they all got to go...CH Ch Ch CHANGES...

It seems to me that I am writing this blog and no one is reading this...(except my daughter who doesn't like when i write because she says it pressures her to do the same)...sort of like if a tree falls in the woods and no one is there...does it make a noise? My question is...if a woman writes a blog and no one reads it...is it still a blog...or is it crazy thoughts some broad thinks people care about...or stupid ideas that some self important woman think matters...I will think of it as my way to have fun with writing and hope people breeze by and perhaps communicate with me...

AHHH now that i wrote that line i get it...i want to communicate...that is what i want to do...communicate myself to anyone with the time to read and has an interest in a 61 year old woman with a specific lens on life...maybe not your lens but mine...there i feel better...I know why i am here...

HAPPY SUNDAY!