so...do you belong to Facebook? I joined...with an alias, by the way...so i can  hear what my children's friends are doing and see their kids photos,etc. I rarely write on it and never "friend" anyone unless they "friend" me first...it is fun to keep up with all of their lives.

Well, the other day women began to post a color...just a color...and before I could figure out why I got this message...

Some fun is going on! Just write the color of your bra in your status, just the color, nothing else, and send this message on to only girls, no men. It will be neat to see if this will spread the wings of cancer awareness. It will be fun to see how long it takes before the men will wonder why all the girls have a color in their status! Someone sent this to me... figured I'd give it a try! can't hurt! 

So there it is...a little fun to help spread the word for cancer...specifically breast cancer. Is there a female or male out there who doesn't know someone who hasn't been touched by this disgusting, insidious disease? I doubt it. I thought if someone wants to add to the conversation why not...let the facebook world that while we are social networking about our holiday and how the Eagles stink we can throw in a reminder that there is STILL no cure for the most frightening disease known to women. Then I read this...

Women...why are you trivializing this dreaded disease...it is serious...not something to smile about by putting your cute bra color on facebook...some things need to be taken more seriously...boycott this idea and stand up for the seriousness that cancer is!


And there it is...what we can alway expect when women are involved with women...DRAMA...Oy, Oy, Oy can't we all just get along...can't we all just set our minds to the place where this is someone's idea...not MY idea...and it is an interesting one. My real question I guess is WHY do we always have to interject our own agenda into someone else's...it is like saying "What about me...you must hear what I have to say too"...and no, honestly, we really don't...every issue and decision does not have to be agreed upon by everyone...and when it appears that your idea is the minority do us all a favor...keep it to yourself...
No one likes a good debate more than me...but to implore and criticize an entire group of people because they are doing something you don't like is way too dramatic for me...and I believe this is true for groups of 5000, 500, 50 or 5...

If I have learned anything in my 61 years it is drama and criticism stop the conversation...it only encourages eye rolling and silence...The question can be asked, the idea can be floated, but the definitive "you are wrong because I am right" statement in ANY situation is debate ending...and sure to clear the room...in my honest opinion.

By the way...pink.

Comment Worthy?

1. I bought you a snuggie last year...i wish it was leopard too...

2. I love 'as seen on tv' stores and gifts...and the 'ove glove' IS fabulous...

3. Great quote...who wrote the letter?

4. No T.V. while opening gifts....mainly because there is no T.V. in the room where we opened the gifts...

5. Noticed that I have started my own tradition of making a cookie tray for the house....was very proud of it this year and had
a few extra....also noticed i ate most myself....and am pretty proud of that too...

6. New stocking for Pumpkin filled with a big, nasty bone....The kitties stockings were bare...the little shits....

7. Dick Clark....so not going there.......(way to go , Dick...can still see the smile in your eyes...:)

8. Satrurday by 2p.m. Xmas and all hints of the holidays were already tucked on their shelf in the basement or on their way
down...good riddance....until next year, that is....

9 . Have been to all types of NYE parties...my fave is staying home with good friends, food and four-legged buddies and
watching the ball drop in pj's...got to do it this year....no better way to start 2010....

10.My momma is the first one i wish a happy new year's to...by phone...always, since i left the nest...now we text it...

11. Maybe he needs reminding...he IS a man after all.....they don't remember shit...

12.Sometimes contacting them with your memories is enough...you know?

13. TWENTY TEN! hereicome.........

14. So yo yo ma....I wonder what 2010 will bring us?

Musings/Wonderings About Christmas/New Year 2009

 Things I notice and wonder about..

1. How many Leopard Snuglis were given as Christmas gifts this year?
2. I always want to know who goes to the "As Seen On Television" Stores in the Mall...this year I went to one and bought an Ove Glove for our polyanna...I was actually disappointed at the response...I thought it was a FABULOUS gift!
   
3. What is better than getting a Christmas letter where a woman friend calls her relationship with her husband, "loving, faithful and constant..."
4. How many people have the television on while opening Christmas presents? I saw it on a Christmas news show...people opening their gifts with the TV on in the background and that made me wonder...I actually think ours was on the news too...was yours? Why, I wonder...
   
5. Did you have too many cookies, not enough, or the right amount?
6. How many people bought their cats and dogs stockings and presents?
7. Dick Clark...positive or negative?
8. Do you clean up and put away Christmas on New Year's Day?
9. Did you get to go to a fancy New Year's Eve party with hats and blowers and stuff? I love those parties but i don't know anyone else who does so I never get to go to one...instead we went to the movies...which was also kind of fun!
10. I always miss my mother and father on New Year's eve and New Year's day...we never had any traditions but a few memorable times together...they were always happy that night and day...I guess that is why I think of them.
11. My husband and I used to do a year in review and laugh about our memories...we don't really do it anymore...what does that mean do you think?
12. I like to think about all of the people in my life that I never get to see anymore...I like to remember fun times and meaningful moments that I had with them...and I always plan to contact them...why don't I ...I wonder...
13. Will you say two thousand ten or Twenty ten...hmmmm...I wonder what I will say...

Whatever you say...Happy New Year to All...

Christmas Memories...old and new...

so...raise your hand if you are a baby boomer like myself and your mother cooked a fabulous dinner and was still bombed by the end of the night...those broads could do anything while sipping Manhattans in the kitchen!

this year kt and i cooked 15 3lb. maine lobsters and 2 filet roasts for 16 people while i drank egg nog and she drank water that tasted like cough syrup(?!)...it was a fabulous dinner...just like my mother's!

My husband and i are taking a huge trip to the wine country in june so we decided no gifts...well, that sucked! A little something couldn't hurt...am i being too materialistic?

My Jake made me a mixed music CD...he got the "no buying presents college student exemption" again this year...but more importantly, he sat with me Christmas morning, played it and told me why he chose each song...now THAT is a gift...

Christmas eve was very different this year...first, I got a chance to see much love and care surround a favorite niece who is in for some serious medical treatments...I then saw my little brother and his 4 kids and assorted "friends", "fiancees", and "fruitcakes"...fun!

I read the Polar Express for the 18th year and everyone had a great time making fun and joking around...I gave my Godchild the bell and he handled it with great maturity...and in the end I got applause and everyone "got" the message...very cool

3 out of 4 kids came for breakfast and we had 1 hour around the table of earnest, interesting conversation...not as typical as you would think, but oh so rewarding...

In the end Billy and I came home...and felt satisfied...at this time in our life we can't ask for more than that can we?

Joan Didion

So...I had dinner with my girlfriends last night and one of them complimented me on this blog...she said she loves to read it and sometimes even shares it with co-workers...she even said she looks forward to it. Just as I was feeling good about it another girlfriend said,"I don't get it...like, what is it? what am I supposed to do with it? Do I have to answer it all the time?" The first woman said...,"No, you read it...it is there to read and affect you one way or another" and I said, "no one needs to answer my blog...it is for the universe to read..."

So...after that conversation I decided to print one of my all time favorite quotes from one of my favorite authors...

"I write entirely to find out what I'm thinking, what I'm looking at, what I see and what it means... What I want and what I fear."

Thanks Joan, I could not have said it better myself!

Chuck Had It All...And He Knew It

So...I went to a funeral last week...one of my most favorite teachers lost her father too young and she was just devastated. She gave a beautiful eulogy helping us to get to know him a little better...and then a friend and co-worker spoke. He said something that just struck me that day and every day since...he said, "Chuck Had It All...And He Knew It"

This little sentence has been in my mind...and my heart... since I heard it...WOW, why don't we all know it? Why don't we all realize that our life ...our simple family life...would really be special to so very many people...we have love, we have laughter, and we have each other. Even though so and so hurt our feelings in June and such and such didn't remember our birthday and what's her name didn't come to our son's game...they are still ours...let's put THAT in perspective...no matter what...they are OURS...and now I think, "Lucky Me" instead of "They drive me crazy!"

So i have to be honest, here...I have decided to embrace Christmas, even though it is my least favorite holiday. I have had so very many wonderful ones and just a few that I allowed to ruin what is family moments...MY family moments...year after year.There is a reason for this season...other than religious...and that is to remind all of us to stop, take a breath, and be grateful for our bounty.

In an ideal world, holidays would stay fixed in time, stuck on endless replay at our happiest moment when everyone we love is present, smiling, with a full plate and a happy heart. No one would ever pass away, move away, split up, get sick, go off to war, have a cancelled flight or be kept away by spiked gas prices. Real life, however, is in a constant state of flux, and that's rarely made so poignant as during the holidays when most people are comfortable sticking to traditions. This year I am going to embrace all of the family changes and realize once and for all...

SUSAN HAS IT ALL...AND SHE KNOWS IT!!

Happy Holidays

The Dirty Bird

So...I was having a semi adventure at a magnificent beach house...the same one as last year...and again, it was a peaceful and calm respite from my everyday life... Although I brought my husband with me.But honestly, he made it better, richer, more interesting and more well...you know. Everytime I come down to this shore town I bring up lots of memories of years past when I was here...

My youngest brother has made his permanent home on the island and when we are together my mind naturally goes back to when we were kids and this was a small...very small beach town. Many memories and images... We all lived in tiny little beach cottages that had running water, 3 bedrooms, one small kitchen and living room combined... but no washer and dryer... On Fridays my mother went to the Avalon laundromat in the next town over to prepare for the weekend...she went with her girlfriends and Yetta...the one with the car. The Avalon laundromat was called "The Dirty Bird" and for some reason she was always happy to go. I had to stay home and watch my brothers...NO BEACH FOR FEAR OF DROWNING...so I was stuck in my house, with no TV, only a transistor radio that "almost" got a station...as were my friends...all of us watching "the babies"!

So off our moms went stuffing into a very, very old green Plymouth with standard gears on the column and 5 women plus wash for at least 17 kids...i could never figure out just what the hell was so much fun about that?? really?? AND...they came back happier than they left...5 hours later I might add. All I knew was we all had clean underwear and I got away from my brothers after she came home and I helped put the clothes away. Sometimes the green Plymouth, and Yetta, had to go back and forth twice because the clean clothes needed so much more room...and when my Mom was the last pickup she had to wait so long she took a nap when she got home because she was exhausted.

My Dad came on Friday night...the wash was done...and the fun began! It was such a sweet, innocent time. It wasn't until years later that I learned that the Avalon laudromat was across the street from a bar called...wait for it... "The Black Eagle"...oh yes, nicknamed, "THE DIRTY BIRD"...easily gotten to while waiting for that washer and dryer to finish...as I said, an innocent time!

Thanksgiving 2009

Random Thoughts about Thanksgiving 2009:

1. I love Thanksgiving
2. It is a wonderful feeling to have all of my children around the table...not so
wonderful to be missing a couple.
3. Beating my brother and the "boys" team in Trivial Pursuit twice!
4. Winning on this question,"What Las Vegas casino has gondeliers?"!
5. Chopping and slicing celery and onions with my husband

EGGNOG

6. Listening to my niece discussing her upcoming wedding plans
7. Meeting my nephew's new girlfriend
8. Walking 2 miles every single morning
9. Jogging for about...a little...to get ready for our 1 mile fun run...and Mr. B...
10. My turkey and stuffing were awesome this year.
11. Getting to know my make pretend grandson Matthew better and better...now that he
is 2...
12. Cutting and chopping celery and onions with my husband

EGGNOG

13. Watching KT take photographs in a joyful way
14. Wondering how much the people tenting outside Best Buy really save and is it worth
it?
15. Are people REALLY going to get up tomorrow for the 5:00 Target opening?
15. 10:00...everyone left...ahhhhhh quiet...

EGGNOG!!!

Last year I wrote a big long blog about all of the things and people I am thankful for...I would like to say...ditto! It was this time last year that I was in a slump and one way I found comfort was in writing this...I have been writing off and on all year but I still find a measure of solace and even fun in writing this.

Now comes Christmas...I do not like it...not at all...but I do like Santa Claus...come back...we will talk!

An Adventure

So...how do you define an adventure? I mean, does it HAVE to be a trip to Tahiti aboard The Kon Tiki or climbing to the summit of Mt. Everest? Is it visiting Europe or Asia for the first time...or can it be the very first day of college, beginning a new job, or driving in Manhattan for the first time? How about dating from Match.com or going to the movies alone?

I hate to think at 61 years old I am out of adventures...that everything I do is old, been done before, or doesn't sound exciting...of course if ever I were to drive in Manhattan, in no way would I consider that "exciting", but most definitely an adventure!

I like to think, if done correctly, each day could be an adventure...so, why aren't they? Why do we accept days as just something to get through rather than something to revel in, something to applaud, something to remember as we lay our heads down, exhausted, not from dull chores but from ADVENTURE!!

Let's define some of the chores each day and figure out how they can be considered adventurous:

1.Driving to work ...I like to play the radio...loud...and sometimes sing and direct the music to punmp myself up(like the guy in the commercial)...certainly an adventure for those watching me!

2.Making lunch...Most days I eat what is available in the refrigerator, either mine or the faculty room...ALWAYS an adventure when I have to decide ...do I cut the fuzzy stuff off, eat around it, or throw it away?

3.Cleaning up the paperwork...interestingly enough I have 2 IN boxes on my desk so when I attack inbox #1 I put it into inbox #2 completely unscathed...until that day...that very "adventurous" day... when I actually DO the work required...SUCH a happy day!

4.Disciplining grade school kids...***see article about the gingerbread man***...

5.Visiting Kindergarten...imagine the excitement everyday when I can walk into a K classroom and everyone wants a hug from Mrs. M...PRICELESS

6. Making dinner...Ordering out from a new spot is ALWAYS an adventure...we try that once a week!

so...what do you think? can you make your life...your day to day existence... adventurous? I tried and didn't do half bad...I almost can't wait to go to work tomorrow to continue my adventure...ALMOST...

PS...my husband requested pot roast for dinner again...oy, what have I done?

Is it appropriate?

So I am sitting in my office when I get an email from a teacher discussing a student's interesting take on a gingerbread man...it soon arrives in my office and ...oh yes...interesting. Between the gingerbread man's legs is a very large, very straight pipe cleaner...hmmmm. So I call for the student to come to my office.He looks incredibly guilty when he walks in and sees his creation on my desk. I point to the offending pipe cleaner and ask him "What is this supposed to be?" He answers, as only a 1st grader can, "A weiner". I say, "Is that okay in school?" and he says...wait for it..."It is inappropriate"...there it is that word...INAPPROPRIATE!

When did we start using that word for everything that is unacceptable in our lives...and WHEN did we teach it to young children? Had I or anyone my age made that gingerbread man with a male member sticking out of it...the action would have been condemned as wrong...I can hear my mother..."You do not do things like that in school or out of school...it is just wrong"...A phrase I heard alot as a child... And I lived to know the difference between right and wrong and good and bad and STILL have a good self image about myself...My parents were never afraid to say it like it is...a model I followed with my own children...when they didn't follow the rules I told them...when they were wrong I told them...when they were bad I told them...when they finished their punishment I told them I loved, loved, loved them and knew they would never do it again...until the next time!

Why are we so afraid to be direct with our children...In my mind inappropriate means you really shouldn't do that, sweetheart...it means oh honey bunny, what were you thinking...it means lets' you and I think of a consequence so it never happens again like no cartoons for one hour tonight...wrong means you better NEVER do it again or you will NEVER get out of your bedroom.Just so you know, my brothers and I are out of our bedrooms and feeling good about ourselves...we loved our parents and listened to them as they guided us through life...did they do it gently when we were "inappropriate"...oh no...there was frustration, anger,lots of silence, and many many missed cartoon Saturday mornings... but mostly there was love.

Here are some Synonyms for inappropriate as defined by Webster and Roget: graceless, improper, inapt, incongruous, incorrect, indecorous, inept, infelicitous, unapt, unbecoming, unfit, unhappy, unseemly, unsuitable, wrong
Related Words inopportune, unfortunate, unseasonable, untimely; immaterial, irrelevant; incompatible, uncongenial, unharmonious; bad, naughty, sinful; blamable, blameworthy, censurable; banned, barred, disallowed; forbidden, interdicted, outlawed, prohibited, proscribed; awkward, gauche, ungraceful; unacceptable, unsatisfactory

So they go from unsuitable to forbidden...such a wide berth for defining one word...personally, I believe children love us more when their life has perameters and restrictions and they don't get to choose their own consequence...they feel how much we love them when we teach them the difference...but I gotta tell ya....that gingerbread man was HYSTERICAL!!