A Random Act Of Kindness

I have always emphasized with my children never to wish a day away waiting for something better to happen...common days bring small "ordinary miracles", i think...even if it is just someone letting you in line to turn right in a traffic jam...that's a random act of kindness to be processed and appreciated, don't you think?

a long time ago (way before cell phones and instant communication) in 1987 actually,  i was rushing to go and see my oldest child play basketball...and already late i flew across Rte. 252 right into a curb...and got a flat tire...ouch... Is anyone out there surprised to know that I had (and still have) no clue how to change a tire? of course i don't...
I was right outside what was at that time the John Dupont compound where DuPont lived along with a state of the art wrestling facility and some world class, Olympic wrestlers in separate housing with their families. It was...and is...a kind of eerie place from Malin Road with just huge gates and trees for all of us non DuPonts and non wrestlers to see...but I digress...I pulled over into the entrance and as i did a really cool sports car with a young man...if asked, i would perhaps say a hottie... stopped to turn right and very specifically avoided all contact with me, my car, and most definitely my eyes. Unfortunately for this driver there was no random act of kindness for him and he had to wait to turn right...giving me enough time to walk over and tap on his window. 

"I seem to have a flat tire that I can't ride on...Is there a phone somewhere in there I can use" I asked...and he briefly looked at me and said, "not really and I am really late for an appointment..." and went back to looking for a right turn opening..."Is there a gas station near by?" I asked...knowing the answer..."You have to go up to the Pike" he said...STILL can't turn right, STILL not meeting me in the eye...and then I said...

"So, if I was your mother or your sister what would you want YOU to do?"... 

DEAD SILENCE for about 30 seconds...looks at me again...this time actually looks at me...puts the car in park and says"you got me"...as he changes my tire we laugh about my guilt trip comment and talk about our children...and he tells me he is actually on his way to pick one of his up and I probably made him late...guilt trip for me!...  and in 10 minutes flat he changes my tire..and we are both on our way! The definition of a Random Act of Kindness on a common, ordinary day...

This is an experience that has stayed with me ever since it happened...When I am in a position to perhaps "Pay It Forward" I think about that time...and then...

You may remember this...In 1996 John DuPont, heir to the DuPont fortune got in his army tank, drove across his compound to Olympic Gold Medalist Dave Schultz's house and murdered him in front of his wife. In 1997, DuPont was convicted of murdering Olympic Gold Medalist wrestler Dave Schultz the year before and sentenced to 13 to 40 years in prison. And guess who my hero was that day...Woah...Olympic gold medal AND changed my tire and got me to the game at halftime...A life to be mourned and a life to be proud of...Thank you, Dave Schultz...you are rememberd for so much more than a great headlock...

Aimless Wasteful Vegetation With No Purpose...A Perfect Week!

so lots and lots of people always remark on how lucky i am to be an educator and actually have a free Christmas vacation...and i 1000% agree every time... Then they always want to know what fun, excitement or great adventure I have during this week off in the middle of the school year...and almost every year of my teaching life...all 28 of them...i have the same answer...i am doing what i do best during christmas vacation...watching movies (sometimes I actually GO to the movies, but that happens less and less these days), watching network television, cable television like BRAVO and Lifetime, reading books...an artful, passionate, aimless, wasteful vegetation with no purpose from my couch...either couch, actually...sometimes my bed...which requires channel surfing and now, of course, since it is the new milennium, while i watch TV and movies... i surf the web!
i watched a movie a night...The Town...pretty good actually...Ben Affleck returns to his former cute sympathetic leading man stage...Toy Story 3 ...OMG sobbed at the end...The A Team ...still stupid but that Bradley Cooper is a mortal sin...Wall Street 2 ...not as bad as I thought it would be...hard to watch Michael Douglas without thinking sad but not hard to watch that cute little Shia Something...still haven't seen The Kids are All Right...actually waiting for KT to see that one...and i rewatched Hope Floats and The Blind Side... and admired Sandra Bullock again...
so...then i decided since there is nothing left for me to watch...i would do what i have put off doing for about 6 months...i would "redo" my Verizon account...(considered DOING something, by the way) since i have telephone, television and Fios internet and i am embarrassed to tell you how much i spent...too much...way too much...and after about 87 minutes on the phone i have reduced my bill by about $80.00 and ADDED Showtime, The Movie Channel, Epix and the best of all...NFL Red Zone!

Today i discovered Showtime and Laura Linney and The Big C...season 1... and it is by far one of the best things on TV that i have seen in forever...she is most delightful...funny, interesting, clever, endearing, intelligent...all those things that i so admire in women...what a character...i am 7 episodes in and only stopped so my family could watch basketball and i actually realized i needed a little company and conversation!!
Interspersed through all this is a book by one of my favorite authors Pat Conroy...this one called Beach Music...typical Conroy...800 pages of passion and prose to keep me up until way too late at night!
i also went to the mall and Target and DSW...and had lunch with my KT and friends...and got to go to a most exciting wedding on New Year's Eve...however I taped Dick Clark or Weekend at Bernie's...whatever you want to call him..because I love, love, love to see the ball drop in Times Square...and still have 2 days left...for football!
well OMG, no wonder i love Christmas vacation so much...well rested and ready to attack the new year...2011...how about you? anyone have any fun? get off the couch? have an adventure to share?please comment and make me look bad...has anyone done sloth better than me? the gauntlet is thrown...

Gift Giving

so...Christmas is here once again...B101 is playing lots of Blue Christmas by Elvis and anything by Karen Carpenter...and I, again, am working very hard to feel the peace and contentment in my heart that they all seem to feel on television talk shows like Oprah and Ellen...but before I can sit down, drink eggnog, and reflect on all of my blessings I have to shop and wrap for 6 children, 1 husband, 1 precious aunt, 6 different polyanna presents, and many and various special employees that I want to thank for their service at holiday time...

Don't you think that gift giving gets in the way of Christmas…in my honest opinion I kind of think it does…In the "old days" when my babies were babies and my parents were alive I used to find present buying such a stressful, stressful chore...what do they want? will they like it? will it fit? will it be right? what does this have to do with the baby Jesus' birthday? and on and on...
And then, as I got older, I realized that I was...and am...always delighted with the gifts I get from people...no matter what they are...really..I mean if someone in my life wants to show me their love, respect, admiration, affection, or got me in the polyanna choice by buying me a present...isn't that kind of cool? And isn't it even better when I know they took the time to go to a store that they think I will like, wander around the store thinking and looking at things that they think I will like and then choosing something that they think  I will like...To this I say, lucky me!

One of my favorite gift giving stories is the Christmas one of my best friends' husband bought her lots and lots and lots of clothes...all from a "designer" whose clothes we women don't really expect to wear until we are at least 80 and living in Florida for 3 months a year. Well, everything matched with everything else, it all had elastic waists and I guess you could say appliques? embroidery? you know, stuff,... flowers, flamingos, fireworks, ferns... on the double knit tops...I know you know...and in the end she took it all back…and we still laugh about it …God, it was awful...but I always thought that it was just such a loving gift…he knew she wanted clothes for a cruise, he knew she loved blue, and he knew she wouldn't spend alot of money on herself...so he did...he spent hours in one department looking, matching, deciding, thinking about her…
personally, I find that very sexy...

So, now...not so much of a chore...and while I am shopping I hum a little Pa Rumpa Pum Pum along with Bing Crosby …

Then I…hit the egg nog…decorate the fake tree...watch the Miser brothers…visit the Land of Misfit toys…bring out my Mother's creche...track Santa on the computer…wish for the Andy Williams Christmas Special...wait for my kids to come home...and count my blessings.

The________Village

So...I went "in town" with KT to see the Christmas village...no Holiday village...no Christmas village ...whatever it is called,  that all of the fuss had been about. For me, the excitement is the actual going in town at Christmas time!! When I was a kid this was one event that we never missed and I could not wait for... 
On a cold Sunday all bundled up KT and I parked and walked around City Hall and stared in amazement at the Christmas, Holiday, Christmas village...with wooden stand after wooden stand after wooden stand of Christmas...stuff...German dancers?... and lots and lots of scarves and pashminas...all 3 for $25.00... so if you get one from me don't be that impressed...
Anyway KT was freezing...my 62 year old body wasn't that cold, oddly enough...so we went for lunch (of course, although no Crystal Room or Harvey House available) and then a little shopping. We ended up in Wanamaker's, now Macy's,  and found ourselves right smack in the middle of the light show...now the LED show. KT wanted to watch for awhile so I wandered into the shoe department to find a seat but instead found myself standing in the background watching her watching the show and she was smiling from ear to ear...I looked around and so many memories in that very spot with the Eagle in the background came to me...including my brother getting lost, Aunt Mag buying specially mixed foundation for herself...the most sophisticated thing I had EVER seen... and my mother breaking a fabulous high heel. And now in 2010 my beautiful daughter smiling at the sight and also, I am sure, at her very own  special memories... oh yes, it is Christmas time in Philadelphia...

WaWa Door Etiquette

So... I stopped at the WaWa today for a pumpkin spice cappuccino...my new addiction... and I got into a door holding dilemma...one person coming in on my right and one coming in on my left...and my hands are full so I am using my back and my butt...are you picturing it?...so do I turn to my left for the person on my left  thereby blocking the person on my right or do I turn to my right thereby blocking the person on my left...oh yes an absolute dilemma...AND shouldn't they be holding the door for me since my hands are full...and should they hold it for each other...who goes first...who holds the door for who...does gender have anything to do with it?...how about age?...how about wait time...how long should you wait for the next person coming in before you let the door go...oh, THAT is a hard one...how about two people arriving at the same time...so many different scenarios and dilemmas...

The Nature of the Mammogram

So...interesting week...much has gone on for all of us...and I began the week with a mamogram...I get one every 6 months because I have dense breasts...I always say calling them dense makes them feel stupid...bad joke. I go to a seriously wonderful women's center...the only men you ever see there are those that are trying (so very, very hard) to support their wives, daughters, girlfriends or mothers...but mostly it is women...we don't talk to each other and we don't make eye contact...we read old People, Glamour, and Good Housekeeping magazines and pretend not to be nervous...you know, what the hell...my breasts in a vice 4 times...sort of like how it must feel if they were run over by a car...4 times...but only for 5 seconds each...doesn't make me nervous at all.

As I sit in silence I wonder why, other than a quick smile, we are not looking or talking to each other... and I decide that any answer to "what are you here for?" could make us all very uncomfortable and unable to respond...so we keep our eyes down until our names are called...but I have no doubt that if there were a woman visibly upset with no one to support her every woman in that room would be offering as much comfort as she could...but... if there were someone to support her then we would just be watching and feeling a small pit in the bottom of her stomach waiting for our turn...it is the nature of the mamogram...
 
At my center we never come back to the waiting room again until we are completely finished and we hear those words..."All good, you don't have to come back for 6 months (or a year)"...Then we...actually I...walk out with some pep in my step, smile at everyone, thank the receptionist...kiss the parking attendant...and go back to work to continue a pre-Thanksgiving week in an elementary school...and silently tell myself repeatedly that I am thankful  for stupid but clear breasts...I say it out loud to all of my female friends as well...but... if this were a fair world...I could share with even more people in my world  how this test makes me feel...both before, during and after...

Oprah...Again...

So...once again I ( and the rest of us, by the way) did not get a ticket to be on Oprah's Favorite Things That She Is Giving Away or whatever she calls it show...actually I don't even watch it...I watched it once a long, long time ago...maybe her very first one...and on that show she had a Norma Kamali jumpsuit that she said was the most comfortable, gorgeous, easy to wear outfit for at home OR going out she ever owned and we at home MUST simply go out and buy it...for...and I will never forget this...$765.00...really, Oprah...over 700 DOLLARS...and then she said, "buy two in different colors, THAT's how much I love them" oh yes, she said that...

Who does she think is watching that show? Lisa Vanderpump (my new favorite name) and the other Housewives of Beverly Hills...or does she know that her audience is just women getting home from work tired and cranky in their Kohl's outfits and Payless shoes getting an hour to sit down before picking the kids up from CCD, before putting the chicken strips and fries in the oven, before throwing in a load of wash,  before doing the homework...and CERTAINLY before getting into their Norma Kamali jumpsuit to look hot for their husband when he gets home!

So I didn't see it...but my God am I hearing about it...people at work, on TV, on the internet, everyone is talking about it...and I guess I just have to talk about it too...whenever I think about it I can only envision the Saturday Night Live where they satirized it and someone had her baby right there while someone's else's head blew off...FREE STUFF...and really FABULOUS FREE STUFF...but only if you are there...because if you are not there...then...

You get up from the couch and think about how much fun that would have been...


really, Oprah...a FREAKIN' cruise...

Friends Are A Blessing...

Friends are a blessing...no doubt about it...if you have friends then you have it all...someone to talk with, cry with, laugh with, exercise with, watch TV with, shop with, cook with, travel with,...you get the idea.

So... I read an article the other day written by a woman who said she was thinking about those most important friends in her life that have melted away...people that she considered BFFs or Besties at the time but that she no longer contacts or communicates with...she said that they just didn't have that much in common anymore and ran out of things to say...
For example she wrote about those women whose children went to nursery school with her children...they shared play dates, coffee, shopping, even went out to dinner and parties with each other and their husbands when their kids were in school together...but then the kids grew older, went to different elementary schools, and they kind of lost touch...

I too have had many wonderful friends that I have shared this kind of fun with...3 children, 2 husbands, 12 household moves, and 39 years later I have left a trail of very, very special women in my life that I just never hear from anymore...Diane in Boise, Idaho who took me camping in a tent and showed me how to shoot a gun...all she ever did was shake her head and say she never met anyone like me before...and all i did was tell her camping to me was black and white television and shooting was something we did late at night in dark bars with cute boys and shots of vodka.

Betty in Houston who was my daily devoted tennis partner, spoke with a funny accent and was madly in love with my (then) husband...God, I should have let her have him...or Marcia in Indianapolis who dressed in gingham dresses and had recipe cards with her formal engraved name on them...but we carpooled, played racquetball together and she loved to hear me curse!

My friend Mary and I raised our older kids together...grades 1 through 8...we saw each other just about every day through sports and school...sitting in gym after gym after gym cheering for each other's children...Friday nights sitting in her kitchen playing cards, smoking cigarettes, and drinking vodka tonics...talking about every thing under the sun from underwear to cramps...from old parents to new cars...from bratty kids to annoying teachers...from Harry Chapin to rap music...and then one day we moved about 5 miles away and I had a baby and got a divorce and then she was gone... our children grew up and every once in awhile we say hi on Facebook...and it will never be the same...but I will never, ever forget her and the years we spent together... 

My college room mate the beautiful Rosanne who was the maid of honor at my first wedding...we lived together for 3 years and  shared everything together...clothes, classes, heartaches, gossip and falling in love and getting married...we try and try and try to stay in touch and visit each other but the years have taken a toll on our friendship...she lives in California, stayed gorgeous, and enjoys a lifestyle that I can only watch from afar...and visa versa...I miss her and love remembering how we would laugh and cry together about mean girls and dumb boys!   

I am blessed to have many, many women in my life today...so many more that I could mention and probably will some day...female family and friends that I treasure, enjoy and admire...I believe with all of my heart that I am who I am because of all of these remarkable women that have and are still leaving their mark on me...KT has wonderful friends too...neither one of us has a sister...but we both feel like we got to pick our own!!

Happy Birthday KTBethSusan Hauer...

happy birthday to my beautiful girl...I have always told her she is my middle child which means she is at the very center of my heart and without her I lose all sense of balance...

I'M BAAAAACK...

So...where have I been...I don't know, really, just living my life I guess...for whatever reason writing this seemed more than I wanted to do...typing this seemed like a chore... and the hardest part...finding things to write about...seemed impossible. 

It has been almost a year since my last entry and certainly lots of wonderful things have happened...school has closed and opened with much joy and excitement on both ends...Jake has come home for the summer and gone back to college...again, with much joy and excitement on both ends...and the Phillies well...they DIDN'T make the World Series so whatever joy and excitement they created they also killed...dead...with a large thump!