Love the moment.
Flowers grow
out of dark moments.
Therefore,
each moment
is vital.
It affects the whole.
Life is a succession
of such moments
and to live each,
is to succeed.

—Sister Mary Corita Kent
(1918-1986); artist, educator

Can Spring Be Far Away...

so, i am looking outside thinking it is a grey, cranky day...January can be like that...this is just the day to dream about spring and summer and all the benefits that come with them...FLOWERS! God, I love flowers...I love their shapes, their colors, and their smells...I love when they make me smile and sometimes when they make me cry...

They give my mind a chance to think about those first days of spring when the trees are barely green and the breeze is barely warm...the anticipation of new beginnings...baby chicks and daffodils...and babies crawling in the grass...corny but visual(!)
Then comes summer and suddenly the WORLD is alive with colors and shapes and smells...the flowers are here...free for us to enjoy and make our hearts smile...I love to take photos of the flowers in my garden...I hope you enjoy this cheesy little essay about why I miss Spring, summer and flowers and cannot wait for them to return...and most importantly, I hope you enjoy my flowers!

For women only...

So, I had my hair done this week and I asked my hairdresser if I was ready for that fabulous grey hair that I see on gorgeous models on TV and in magazines that are around my age...He said no. I was interested to learn that I still had lots of darks..."salt and pepper" he said...not enough greys to look anything but old...ouch!

Did he mean that if I let my hair go natural I wouldn't look as sophisticated as George Clooney,Harrison Ford, or my husband? What the hell...women lose again...salt and pepper just does not work for us!

I remember when I got pregnant at 41 years old and thought ALOT about how I was way too old to be having a baby. One day, for whatever reason, I looked at my vijayjay and saw that it was "salt and pepper"...Jesus, how embarrassing...it wasn't bad enough that I would be 42 when I delivered this child...i was going into the delivery room with a grey vijayjay. I cannot tell you how uncomfortable I was with that...and I was determined to dye it...just for the delivery.

So i asked a couple of girlfriends if they would dye my greys and first they said yes but when I explained my predicament they immediately and vehemently denied my request...imagine that...first, they said they thought is was a really bad, unhealthy idea and second, they wanted no parts of that particular part of mine!
So I approached my ob/gyn nurse...told her I would pay her extra...she put the kaboosh on it by saying it was INDEED unhealthy for the baby so I had to stop wishing for it. I immediately requested a Cesarean birth so the entire delivery room would not see my salt and pepper...but of course, she squashed that too!

As it happens I had an emergency section...a story for another day...and did not think about it again until I had my first shower helped by my KT who upon seeing me naked almost fainted...not a good look for a 17 year old girl hoping to have a family some day!

Back to the grey hair on my head...I have gone from that stuff that just colors the grey....to Clariol #45 sunset brown to having my very own card and mix at my hairdresser's...that is where i am. My hair color looks fabulous, I must say, at least the hair on my head...and my husband does not think I should be grey...my Mother always told me to NEVER let my hair turn grey...and it really doesn't matter that much as far as my looks go...even with dyed hair no one ever mistakes me for KT, Michaeljohn or Jake's sister...never happens...so what the hell...

The good news in this little story of mine...no photo of you know what!!

so...do you belong to Facebook? I joined...with an alias, by the way...so i can  hear what my children's friends are doing and see their kids photos,etc. I rarely write on it and never "friend" anyone unless they "friend" me first...it is fun to keep up with all of their lives.

Well, the other day women began to post a color...just a color...and before I could figure out why I got this message...

Some fun is going on! Just write the color of your bra in your status, just the color, nothing else, and send this message on to only girls, no men. It will be neat to see if this will spread the wings of cancer awareness. It will be fun to see how long it takes before the men will wonder why all the girls have a color in their status! Someone sent this to me... figured I'd give it a try! can't hurt! 

So there it is...a little fun to help spread the word for cancer...specifically breast cancer. Is there a female or male out there who doesn't know someone who hasn't been touched by this disgusting, insidious disease? I doubt it. I thought if someone wants to add to the conversation why not...let the facebook world that while we are social networking about our holiday and how the Eagles stink we can throw in a reminder that there is STILL no cure for the most frightening disease known to women. Then I read this...

Women...why are you trivializing this dreaded disease...it is serious...not something to smile about by putting your cute bra color on facebook...some things need to be taken more seriously...boycott this idea and stand up for the seriousness that cancer is!


And there it is...what we can alway expect when women are involved with women...DRAMA...Oy, Oy, Oy can't we all just get along...can't we all just set our minds to the place where this is someone's idea...not MY idea...and it is an interesting one. My real question I guess is WHY do we always have to interject our own agenda into someone else's...it is like saying "What about me...you must hear what I have to say too"...and no, honestly, we really don't...every issue and decision does not have to be agreed upon by everyone...and when it appears that your idea is the minority do us all a favor...keep it to yourself...
No one likes a good debate more than me...but to implore and criticize an entire group of people because they are doing something you don't like is way too dramatic for me...and I believe this is true for groups of 5000, 500, 50 or 5...

If I have learned anything in my 61 years it is drama and criticism stop the conversation...it only encourages eye rolling and silence...The question can be asked, the idea can be floated, but the definitive "you are wrong because I am right" statement in ANY situation is debate ending...and sure to clear the room...in my honest opinion.

By the way...pink.

Comment Worthy?

1. I bought you a snuggie last year...i wish it was leopard too...

2. I love 'as seen on tv' stores and gifts...and the 'ove glove' IS fabulous...

3. Great quote...who wrote the letter?

4. No T.V. while opening gifts....mainly because there is no T.V. in the room where we opened the gifts...

5. Noticed that I have started my own tradition of making a cookie tray for the house....was very proud of it this year and had
a few extra....also noticed i ate most myself....and am pretty proud of that too...

6. New stocking for Pumpkin filled with a big, nasty bone....The kitties stockings were bare...the little shits....

7. Dick Clark....so not going there.......(way to go , Dick...can still see the smile in your eyes...:)

8. Satrurday by 2p.m. Xmas and all hints of the holidays were already tucked on their shelf in the basement or on their way
down...good riddance....until next year, that is....

9 . Have been to all types of NYE parties...my fave is staying home with good friends, food and four-legged buddies and
watching the ball drop in pj's...got to do it this year....no better way to start 2010....

10.My momma is the first one i wish a happy new year's to...by phone...always, since i left the nest...now we text it...

11. Maybe he needs reminding...he IS a man after all.....they don't remember shit...

12.Sometimes contacting them with your memories is enough...you know?

13. TWENTY TEN! hereicome.........

14. So yo yo ma....I wonder what 2010 will bring us?

Musings/Wonderings About Christmas/New Year 2009

 Things I notice and wonder about..

1. How many Leopard Snuglis were given as Christmas gifts this year?
2. I always want to know who goes to the "As Seen On Television" Stores in the Mall...this year I went to one and bought an Ove Glove for our polyanna...I was actually disappointed at the response...I thought it was a FABULOUS gift!
   
3. What is better than getting a Christmas letter where a woman friend calls her relationship with her husband, "loving, faithful and constant..."
4. How many people have the television on while opening Christmas presents? I saw it on a Christmas news show...people opening their gifts with the TV on in the background and that made me wonder...I actually think ours was on the news too...was yours? Why, I wonder...
   
5. Did you have too many cookies, not enough, or the right amount?
6. How many people bought their cats and dogs stockings and presents?
7. Dick Clark...positive or negative?
8. Do you clean up and put away Christmas on New Year's Day?
9. Did you get to go to a fancy New Year's Eve party with hats and blowers and stuff? I love those parties but i don't know anyone else who does so I never get to go to one...instead we went to the movies...which was also kind of fun!
10. I always miss my mother and father on New Year's eve and New Year's day...we never had any traditions but a few memorable times together...they were always happy that night and day...I guess that is why I think of them.
11. My husband and I used to do a year in review and laugh about our memories...we don't really do it anymore...what does that mean do you think?
12. I like to think about all of the people in my life that I never get to see anymore...I like to remember fun times and meaningful moments that I had with them...and I always plan to contact them...why don't I ...I wonder...
13. Will you say two thousand ten or Twenty ten...hmmmm...I wonder what I will say...

Whatever you say...Happy New Year to All...

Christmas Memories...old and new...

so...raise your hand if you are a baby boomer like myself and your mother cooked a fabulous dinner and was still bombed by the end of the night...those broads could do anything while sipping Manhattans in the kitchen!

this year kt and i cooked 15 3lb. maine lobsters and 2 filet roasts for 16 people while i drank egg nog and she drank water that tasted like cough syrup(?!)...it was a fabulous dinner...just like my mother's!

My husband and i are taking a huge trip to the wine country in june so we decided no gifts...well, that sucked! A little something couldn't hurt...am i being too materialistic?

My Jake made me a mixed music CD...he got the "no buying presents college student exemption" again this year...but more importantly, he sat with me Christmas morning, played it and told me why he chose each song...now THAT is a gift...

Christmas eve was very different this year...first, I got a chance to see much love and care surround a favorite niece who is in for some serious medical treatments...I then saw my little brother and his 4 kids and assorted "friends", "fiancees", and "fruitcakes"...fun!

I read the Polar Express for the 18th year and everyone had a great time making fun and joking around...I gave my Godchild the bell and he handled it with great maturity...and in the end I got applause and everyone "got" the message...very cool

3 out of 4 kids came for breakfast and we had 1 hour around the table of earnest, interesting conversation...not as typical as you would think, but oh so rewarding...

In the end Billy and I came home...and felt satisfied...at this time in our life we can't ask for more than that can we?

Joan Didion

So...I had dinner with my girlfriends last night and one of them complimented me on this blog...she said she loves to read it and sometimes even shares it with co-workers...she even said she looks forward to it. Just as I was feeling good about it another girlfriend said,"I don't get it...like, what is it? what am I supposed to do with it? Do I have to answer it all the time?" The first woman said...,"No, you read it...it is there to read and affect you one way or another" and I said, "no one needs to answer my blog...it is for the universe to read..."

So...after that conversation I decided to print one of my all time favorite quotes from one of my favorite authors...

"I write entirely to find out what I'm thinking, what I'm looking at, what I see and what it means... What I want and what I fear."

Thanks Joan, I could not have said it better myself!

Chuck Had It All...And He Knew It

So...I went to a funeral last week...one of my most favorite teachers lost her father too young and she was just devastated. She gave a beautiful eulogy helping us to get to know him a little better...and then a friend and co-worker spoke. He said something that just struck me that day and every day since...he said, "Chuck Had It All...And He Knew It"

This little sentence has been in my mind...and my heart... since I heard it...WOW, why don't we all know it? Why don't we all realize that our life ...our simple family life...would really be special to so very many people...we have love, we have laughter, and we have each other. Even though so and so hurt our feelings in June and such and such didn't remember our birthday and what's her name didn't come to our son's game...they are still ours...let's put THAT in perspective...no matter what...they are OURS...and now I think, "Lucky Me" instead of "They drive me crazy!"

So i have to be honest, here...I have decided to embrace Christmas, even though it is my least favorite holiday. I have had so very many wonderful ones and just a few that I allowed to ruin what is family moments...MY family moments...year after year.There is a reason for this season...other than religious...and that is to remind all of us to stop, take a breath, and be grateful for our bounty.

In an ideal world, holidays would stay fixed in time, stuck on endless replay at our happiest moment when everyone we love is present, smiling, with a full plate and a happy heart. No one would ever pass away, move away, split up, get sick, go off to war, have a cancelled flight or be kept away by spiked gas prices. Real life, however, is in a constant state of flux, and that's rarely made so poignant as during the holidays when most people are comfortable sticking to traditions. This year I am going to embrace all of the family changes and realize once and for all...

SUSAN HAS IT ALL...AND SHE KNOWS IT!!

Happy Holidays

The Dirty Bird

So...I was having a semi adventure at a magnificent beach house...the same one as last year...and again, it was a peaceful and calm respite from my everyday life... Although I brought my husband with me.But honestly, he made it better, richer, more interesting and more well...you know. Everytime I come down to this shore town I bring up lots of memories of years past when I was here...

My youngest brother has made his permanent home on the island and when we are together my mind naturally goes back to when we were kids and this was a small...very small beach town. Many memories and images... We all lived in tiny little beach cottages that had running water, 3 bedrooms, one small kitchen and living room combined... but no washer and dryer... On Fridays my mother went to the Avalon laundromat in the next town over to prepare for the weekend...she went with her girlfriends and Yetta...the one with the car. The Avalon laundromat was called "The Dirty Bird" and for some reason she was always happy to go. I had to stay home and watch my brothers...NO BEACH FOR FEAR OF DROWNING...so I was stuck in my house, with no TV, only a transistor radio that "almost" got a station...as were my friends...all of us watching "the babies"!

So off our moms went stuffing into a very, very old green Plymouth with standard gears on the column and 5 women plus wash for at least 17 kids...i could never figure out just what the hell was so much fun about that?? really?? AND...they came back happier than they left...5 hours later I might add. All I knew was we all had clean underwear and I got away from my brothers after she came home and I helped put the clothes away. Sometimes the green Plymouth, and Yetta, had to go back and forth twice because the clean clothes needed so much more room...and when my Mom was the last pickup she had to wait so long she took a nap when she got home because she was exhausted.

My Dad came on Friday night...the wash was done...and the fun began! It was such a sweet, innocent time. It wasn't until years later that I learned that the Avalon laudromat was across the street from a bar called...wait for it... "The Black Eagle"...oh yes, nicknamed, "THE DIRTY BIRD"...easily gotten to while waiting for that washer and dryer to finish...as I said, an innocent time!